I always knew you were essentially a wrong 'un.
'Going veggie on weekdays'. What are you, 19 years old?
Also, she's made you do this, hasn't she? For shame.
Also, what about poor little Anus. Does she get to have a say in this decision or are you imposing your weirdo diet on the innocent child?
Also: chickpeas, chard and fúcking yoghurt? What's wronmg with a Linda McCartney pretend sausage?
How have you allowed this? You have completely lost control of your woman. She won't be happy, you know. Like dogs, women are happiest when they understand their place in the pack. You should give her a good hiding.*
(*Please don't assault your wife just because I said so.)
Ok, not strictly true. We're cutting down on meat.
Fish and seafood will still be on the menu, but we simply don't have time on weekdays to make the most of cooking with meat, and had got into the habit of eating mediocre meat-based meals as a consequence.
Much quicker to rustle up a simple but tasty veggie dish than a meat based one.
We'll save the big meat meals for the weekends.