Medicalwimb: I have a lump on my neck :-(

[Burney]

It's a boil. Take a needle and heat it in your lighter flame, then ram it in and allow the pus to flow free.

I once tried this on my anal sphincter. It didn't end well.

That's because it was a haemmorhoid, amirite?

[Sir C]

That's because it was a haemmorhoid, amirite?

Yes, except I wasn't aware of that and thought it was a boil.

There were other circumstances which made the whole thing quite distressing.

[Burney]

Yes, except I wasn't aware of that and thought it was a boil.

There were other circumstances which made the whole thing quite distressing.

Was it your honeymoon?

[Sir C]

Was it your honeymoon?

It was. You have remembered the tale.

Maltese doctor, shouting: "What, you're on honeymoon? Madam, I have grounds for annulment!"