Here's something I don't get: Chicken Katsu Curry.

[Sir C]

I am, too. This is probably why I'm waxing so lyrical about the fùckers.

I've been eating a lot of pulses. Tonight, I shall have roast cod with haricot beans and chorizo.

Beans are no substitute for potatoes. This is simply a FACT.

I'm doing pork chops with a mushroom cream sauce - but of course now I realise I've got to find a staple that fits such a meal. Fúck's sake. Why must you quitters be so difficult?

I'm going to do a butter bean mash so the whole fúcking meal is like baby food.

[Burney]

I'm doing pork chops with a mushroom cream sauce - but of course now I realise I've got to find a staple that fits such a meal. Fúck's sake. Why must you quitters be so difficult?

I'm going to do a butter bean mash so the whole fúcking meal is like baby food.

Parsnips? Sweet potatoes? Butternut squash?


Nah, you're right. Those are all shìte compared to a spud.

[Sir C]

Parsnips? Sweet potatoes? Butternut squash?


Nah, you're right. Those are all shìte compared to a spud.

I've got sweet potatoes but... so sweet! I can't face the idea. Parsnips are also... sweet! And butternut squash can just fúck off. I hate it.

[Burney]

I've got sweet potatoes but... so sweet! I can't face the idea. Parsnips are also... sweet! And butternut squash can just fúck off. I hate it.

I grew about 40 butternut squashes last year. I probably ate about 4 of them in the form of soup (they do make a decent soup with a bit of smoked paprika or curry powder). The rest were given away or fùcked out the window.

Agree about sweet potatoes. Sweet potato fries make you feel like you're about to go into diabetic coma. Parsnips are great in a roast dinner when they're offset by other stuff, but not on their own.

You could make falafelly-type things out of beans?

[Sir C]

I grew about 40 butternut squashes last year. I probably ate about 4 of them in the form of soup (they do make a decent soup with a bit of smoked paprika or curry powder). The rest were given away or fùcked out the window.

Agree about sweet potatoes. Sweet potato fries make you feel like you're about to go into diabetic coma. Parsnips are great in a roast dinner when they're offset by other stuff, but not on their own.

You could make falafelly-type things out of beans?

No, I've definitely decided on the lentils now. I like lentils with a cream sauce. I'll boil the fúckers, make a mushroom / shallot / mustard cream sauce as if it were to be spooned on the chops, but stick it in the lentils.

[Burney]

No, I've definitely decided on the lentils now. I like lentils with a cream sauce. I'll boil the fúckers, make a mushroom / shallot / mustard cream sauce as if it were to be spooned on the chops, but stick it in the lentils.

The thing is that anything other than potatoes is just taking up space, really, isn't it? It's not there because it complements the dish, it's there because you need something besides meat and veg.

What did people do before potatoes?

[Sir C]

The thing is that anything other than potatoes is just taking up space, really, isn't it? It's not there because it complements the dish, it's there because you need something besides meat and veg.

What did people do before potatoes?

Bread. Lots and lots of bread.

Bread is good. Bread is almost as good as potatoes.

[Sir C]

Parsnips? Sweet potatoes? Butternut squash?


Nah, you're right. Those are all shìte compared to a spud.

Wait. Lentils. It will have to be lentils. I'll stir the sauce into the little puys.