I was going to mention something about granita but then I thought, 'Hang about, don't be a dick, the chap's just after some advice.'
I know, but what if he were to say to his missus 'I've made you a sorbet' and she says 'Fvck off, dip****! That's a granita! Don't you even know the difference?' and they end up splitting up as a consequence? Do you want that on your conscience?