Imagine you had the biggest, fluffiest cat in the world.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

is the poor wee chap OK?

Sir C comes on bemoaning his cat for squirting faeces everywhere just doesn't ring true.

I very much doubt the "poor wee chap" is OK because the fur covered little snake has probably been slung into the wood-chipper by an enraged Sir C and quite right too.

And furthermore, a fireman friend of mine tells me an estimated forty pet cats died in the Grenfell fire and I haven't heard you, or the other great cat lover, evince a shred of sympathy. Cat lovers my fat white cat hating arse .