Anyway, on to other matters. To wit, camping.

[Burney]

Well, for starters I would point out that discussing such matters is quite remarkably vulgar, and I would rather not.

On the other hand, because I am not a filthy animal, I expect I will move my bowels before leaving the house and then simply demonstrate a little self-control until I return to civilisation.

Well if you say so. But I’m sure you can appreciate the concern of a friend that a gentleman of your gravity and social status might be discovered squatting behind a bush, coiling down a monstrous turd prior to wiping your arse with a lump of moss.