I know public information films of the 70s and 80s are a standard comedy trope, but

[Sir C]

My efforts to mitigate against that involve speaking equally appallingly about my own children.

Well that's going to do fúck all.

God sees into your soul, m. He sees the blackness there and it pleaseth him not. He prepares a place of eternal torment especially for you, infinite years of the Devil himself raping you with hi9s enormous, forked devildick. Yea, thus was it written and thus shall it come to pass. Amen.