The chefs who work on hotel omelette stations irritate me

[Sir C]

They give themselves airs and graces and act like they're the bóllocks when in fact all they do is cook fùcking eggs.

And I hate the way they try to get you to order an omelette when all you want is fried egg. Cùnts.

AND they fúck about trying to make it look like a perfect sausage shape, meanwhile overcooking the fúcking thing.

On the other hand, it allows one to eat chillies at breakfast, which would be unacceptable if preparing the omelette for yourself.

[Burney]

AND they fúck about trying to make it look like a perfect sausage shape, meanwhile overcooking the fúcking thing.

On the other hand, it allows one to eat chillies at breakfast, which would be unacceptable if preparing the omelette for yourself.

Yes. They are always overcooked, aren't they? You feel like jumping in and telling them to stop.

Actually, what irritates me more are the rubes who talk about the experience in awed tones. "He did me a lovely omelette with ham and cheese - anything I wanted." To hear them, you'd think the cùnt had turned lead into gold.

[Sir C]

Yes. They are always overcooked, aren't they? You feel like jumping in and telling them to stop.

Actually, what irritates me more are the rubes who talk about the experience in awed tones. "He did me a lovely omelette with ham and cheese - anything I wanted." To hear them, you'd think the cùnt had turned lead into gold.

Did you get to try an oyster omelette while you were in Singapore? They deep-fry the bloody things.

Marvellous.

[Burney]

Did you get to try an oyster omelette while you were in Singapore? They deep-fry the bloody things.

Marvellous.

I didn't. The concept makes me feel a bit queasy, tbh, but I suppose the deep frying would make it less icky

[Sir C]

I didn't. The concept makes me feel a bit queasy, tbh, but I suppose the deep frying would make it less icky

They do look a little like a mess of egg and grollies, but they're good, man.

[World's End Stella]

I've never had an omlette that was anything other than bland. Mostly because the egg is always overcooked and an overcooked egg is a horrible thing. Mind you, I've never had a truffled omlette, even after a week in the Dordogne, and I've always thought they might be wonderful.

Fried with a very runny yoke? Yes. Scrambled provided they are cooked very slowly? Yes. Poached with a very runny yoke? Yes.

Omlette? No.

[Sir C]

I've never had an omlette that was anything other than bland. Mostly because the egg is always overcooked and an overcooked egg is a horrible thing. Mind you, I've never had a truffled omlette, even after a week in the Dordogne, and I've always thought they might be wonderful.

Fried with a very runny yoke? Yes. Scrambled provided they are cooked very slowly? Yes. Poached with a very runny yoke? Yes.

Omlette? No.

I don't even know where to start with this.

Yes I do. A man who claims to have a knowledge of food but has never cooked, or even experienced, a correctly baveuse omelette, should hang his head in shame. He massive, bald, sweaty head.

And as for lacking the ability to spell omelette...

[World's End Stella]

I don't even know where to start with this.

Yes I do. A man who claims to have a knowledge of food but has never cooked, or even experienced, a correctly baveuse omelette, should hang his head in shame. He massive, bald, sweaty head.

And as for lacking the ability to spell omelette...

My head is not massive, that's my cock you're thinking of there, Dutchie.

And omelettes are merely just some cooked eggs and can therefore only be so good.

Unlike my creamed cabbage which history now shows was a thing of genius. And better yet, I have only just now thought of a way to improve it. A tidge of Dijon for depth and tiny amount of finely chopped capers to introduce a bit of acidity.

It shall be on the menu at Maison WES again this weekend. Possibly with pheasant if the locals have begun shooting them.

[Pokster]

I don't even know where to start with this.

Yes I do. A man who claims to have a knowledge of food but has never cooked, or even experienced, a correctly baveuse omelette, should hang his head in shame. He massive, bald, sweaty head.

And as for lacking the ability to spell omelette...

I actually think WES is the reason we voted for Brexit

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

AND they fúck about trying to make it look like a perfect sausage shape, meanwhile overcooking the fúcking thing.

On the other hand, it allows one to eat chillies at breakfast, which would be unacceptable if preparing the omelette for yourself.

****s "a baveuse! For fuxake man A BAVEUSE!"

Last cheeky **** said "It's not a fanny mate it's a fackin omelette"