Paying him is the bit that disturbs me. How about "just do as your told you revolting nonce, or you'll be slung into jail where your buddies will delight in driving a tube train up your arse before slicing you to ribbons with a Stanley knife." Payment fer fuxake!
"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."