Exciting news, Awimb. Having previously thought that Mesut Ozil merely lives in my

[Luis Anaconda]

neighbourhood, it turns out he lives on my actual f*cking road, about 300 yards from my flat. I was tipped off about this by a neighbour and verified it by taking a peek through his front gates this morning and spotting a Lamborghini and 4x4, both sporting German plates.

I can also confirm, as per the media reports, that he is indeed having his driveway re-laid.

Puts the price up when he sells

[SWv2]

Puts the price up when he sells

Probably getting his landlord to do it.

[Burney]

Probably getting his landlord to do it.

Pikeys imo. When they said 'Tarmac yer droive, sor? We've a load o'spare tarmac left over from a job in Crouch End. We'll do it for a couple o'hundred quid' he probably had no idea what they were saying and just smiled and nodded.

[Herbette Chapman - aged 15]

Jayzuss Cornelius! did ye see d' size o' de eyes and that cont!