Talking of snobby spastic, I'm going for lunch tomorrow with several friends and

[SWv2]

Hmm. Imbibing excessively prior to meeting for lunch is potentially problematic, sw. There is a danger that one may become bemused, muddled or confused, and the possibility exists that one might behave less than impeccably - even, God help us, rudely.

An English gentleman never runs the risk of being rude, sw. You understand that, of co.....

Oh. Sorry. As you were. Back to your shamrock carving or spud picking. There's nothing to see here.

I only said 3-5 pints homo.

[Sir C]

I only said 3-5 pints homo.

One can't be too careful.

Anyway, I reckon my bloodstream is generally running at about 12% before I start, these days

[Alberto Balsam Rodriguez]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton.

A visit to a seafood restaurant means certain things to me. It means foaming tankards of black velvet, half a dozen natives and then lobsters or Dover Soles. It does not mean fillets of sea bass or pan-fried cod or any other standard fish dish I could cook for myself any day of the week. However, if I order what I would like, when it comes to splitting the bill, the majority of those present will shít themselves.

What should I do, Awimb? Compromise my beliefs and eat ordinary people's food? That would be dishonest. Insist on paying for everyone? That would be humiliating for the other gentlemen present. Just get on with it in a cheery spirit of 'fúck you'?

Convince them that they should partake of the lobster/Dover soles?

[Sir C]

Convince them that they should partake of the lobster/Dover soles?

Most of them are too common to appreciate such fare. It would be a waste of God's good provisions.

[Burney]

family members to celebrate the birthday of the glw. We are going to a rather nice seafood restaurant in Brighton.

A visit to a seafood restaurant means certain things to me. It means foaming tankards of black velvet, half a dozen natives and then lobsters or Dover Soles. It does not mean fillets of sea bass or pan-fried cod or any other standard fish dish I could cook for myself any day of the week. However, if I order what I would like, when it comes to splitting the bill, the majority of those present will shít themselves.

What should I do, Awimb? Compromise my beliefs and eat ordinary people's food? That would be dishonest. Insist on paying for everyone? That would be humiliating for the other gentlemen present. Just get on with it in a cheery spirit of 'fúck you'?

You know damn well you're going to do the latter.

[Sir C]

You know damn well you're going to do the latter.

The '**** you' option? Well, if you say so. I confess, it doesn't really sound much like me.

[SWv2]

The '**** you' option? Well, if you say so. I confess, it doesn't really sound much like me.

Given that it is the birthday of your GLW, and a family celebration of said event, I would find such financial detail nit-picking to be petty in the extreme.

Steam in, order whatever the fúck you want and say fúck all when the bill comes. Let them sort it out.

3-5 pints in advance will help in the event of any negotiations, trust me. No whiskey, or bugle.

[Sir C]

Given that it is the birthday of your GLW, and a family celebration of said event, I would find such financial detail nit-picking to be petty in the extreme.

Steam in, order whatever the fúck you want and say fúck all when the bill comes. Let them sort it out.

3-5 pints in advance will help in the event of any negotiations, trust me. No whiskey, or bugle.

Many years ago I went for lunch at The Savoy with my parents to celebrate their umpteenth wedding anniversary, along with my two sisters, their husbands and their children. Magnums of champagne were enjoyed by one and all. The bill was in four figures. I quietly settled it, expecting to square up with others later.

Both brothers-in-law approached me quietly afterwards, shook my hand and thanked me for the wonderful meal.

I feel like I've earnt the right, over the years, to nit-pick a bit now that I am entering my final couple of years of earning a living.

[SWv2]

Many years ago I went for lunch at The Savoy with my parents to celebrate their umpteenth wedding anniversary, along with my two sisters, their husbands and their children. Magnums of champagne were enjoyed by one and all. The bill was in four figures. I quietly settled it, expecting to square up with others later.

Both brothers-in-law approached me quietly afterwards, shook my hand and thanked me for the wonderful meal.

I feel like I've earnt the right, over the years, to nit-pick a bit now that I am entering my final couple of years of earning a living.

I was suggesting the nit-picking to be done by others, not you.

[World's End Stella]

Um, weren't you just up north celebrating her birthday in LRk amongst other places?

I would have thought at V's age once was enough.