WFH today, just sank the third pint of real ale at my local

[Monty92]

Bit meh, tbh.

Owned by the Leela Palace group, I see. I've stayed in a few in India. Quite tremendously vulgar. You might be in for gilding and flock wallpaper.

Yes, I'm expecting vulgarity, but it's a special occasion as the missus has finished her maternity leave so a dash of kitsch is called for.

I have flowers and chocolates waiting for her at home too.

I reckon I've raised my chances of getting laid this weekend by at least 5%.

[World's End Stella]

Avocado? Bender!

It's 2017, Burney, time to move on. My local is positively old skool compared to most pubs nowadays, not a veloute, purée or foam anywhere in sight.

The lad had gammon on white bread with lashings of Coleman's mustard, if that helps. Proof below:

http://www.redlionshamleygreen.com

[Sir C]

Going to the cinema alone makes you a pervert, I'm afraid. I don't make the rules.

A couple of pints one one's own while doing the crossword, however, is exactly what a proper chap ought to be doing of a lunchtime.

Like Morse.

Hold on: a bit crotchety, real ale enthusiast, a tendency to didacticism? That's why you don't like Morse, man! The pair of you were separated at birth for fúcks sake!

[Sir C]

Yes, I'm expecting vulgarity, but it's a special occasion as the missus has finished her maternity leave so a dash of kitsch is called for.

I have flowers and chocolates waiting for her at home too.

I reckon I've raised my chances of getting laid this weekend by at least 5%.

Please accept my best wishes for you both in this endeavour.

Make sure you don't make another baby happen though.

[Burney]

It's 2017, Burney, time to move on. My local is positively old skool compared to most pubs nowadays, not a veloute, purée or foam anywhere in sight.

The lad had gammon on white bread with lashings of Coleman's mustard, if that helps. Proof below:

http://www.redlionshamleygreen.com

Oh, I know the place. But avocado is unacceptable, I'm afraid. It's a foodstuff that ought only to be consumed by middle-class women, bufties and Mexicans. It certainly has no place alongside God's honest bacon.

[Burney]

Please accept my best wishes for you both in this endeavour.

Make sure you don't make another baby happen though.

Good luck, m. You're probably a bit rusty, I imagine. Can you remember how it all works? Do you want us to talk you through things?

[Burney]

Like Morse.

Hold on: a bit crotchety, real ale enthusiast, a tendency to didacticism? That's why you don't like Morse, man! The pair of you were separated at birth for fúcks sake!

I don't have a limp.

[Monty92]

Good luck, m. You're probably a bit rusty, I imagine. Can you remember how it all works? Do you want us to talk you through things?

I'm hoping muscle memory will kick in.

[Burney]

I'm hoping muscle memory will kick in.

Well try not to blow your load too soon. At least try make sure you actually get it into her, first.

[Pokster]

It's 2017, Burney, time to move on. My local is positively old skool compared to most pubs nowadays, not a veloute, purée or foam anywhere in sight.

The lad had gammon on white bread with lashings of Coleman's mustard, if that helps. Proof below:

http://www.redlionshamleygreen.com

That's the one... been there a couiple of times with some of my ex's friends.... bought a place in your village after appearing on Location, location,location