Surely if you stand for Parliament and are elected you should be forced to serve the

[Burney]

whole term, unless exceptional circumstances (i.e. death) prevent you from doing so? In short, how much of a Tristram Hunt do you have to be just to quit because a better offer comes along?

His proudest day as an MP came when Stoke got its first Pizza Express. That's right, the introduction of the first restaurant in Stoke that had a menu with words on it was his greatest achievement.

Didn't he used to shag Monty's missus, by the way?

[Luis Anaconda]

His proudest day as an MP came when Stoke got its first Pizza Express. That's right, the introduction of the first restaurant in Stoke that had a menu with words on it was his greatest achievement.

Didn't he used to shag Monty's missus, by the way?

I saw that tweet earlier. Quite brilliant. Though quite how the inhabitants of Stoke coped with such an advance form of food, I shudder to think.

I have no idea about Monty's wife's past lovers. His mum on the other hand ...

[Burney]

I saw that tweet earlier. Quite brilliant. Though quite how the inhabitants of Stoke coped with such an advance form of food, I shudder to think.

I have no idea about Monty's wife's past lovers. His mum on the other hand ...

They were probably very confused by the presence of knives and forks and angrily smashed the place up. They then probably half-heartedly 'apologised' via the papers and then were outraged when Pizza Express didn't accept the apology. Doubtless they now boo the restaurant every time they walk past it and call its staff cünts.

I could be wrong about Monty's lady, of course. It might just be a dream I had.