Is there any totty here?

[Donald]

Seeking a buxom, leggy filly with a flair for cooking.

[Burney]

Seeking a buxom, leggy filly with a flare for cooking.

Loads, mate, but they only dig dudes who know the difference between 'flare' and 'flair', I'm afraid. You've fallen at the first hurdle.

[Sir C]

Seeking a buxom, leggy filly with a flare for cooking.

Hi Donald. I'm an 18 year old brunette with a 32DD and an insatiable lust for randon men on the internet. I live 3 miles from you and I'd love to scramble your eggs xxx

[Donald]

Good news Burney! (Note I worked out how to edit and correct my spelling mistake) My previous wife was a marvellous cook with terrific tits. Sadly she died, hence my search for new totty.

[redgunamo]

Loads, mate, but they only dig dudes who know the difference between 'flare' and 'flair', I'm afraid. You've fallen at the first hurdle.

I think he means a bird that cooks with flares. You know, uses flares for cooking.

It's 2016; there's nothing wrong with it.

[Burney]

Good news Burney! (Note I worked out how to edit and correct my spelling mistake) My previous wife was a marvellous cook with terrific tits. Sadly she died, hence my search for new totty.

Good man! I wish you all the best. There used to be this bird called Hillary on here who was a bit of a goer by all accounts. Can't speak as to her tits, though. Used to eat week-old roast beef, which doesn't bode well on the cooking front.

Sorry for your loss, btw. How did your good lady wife come to shuffle off this mortal coil?

[Donald]

Hi Donald. I'm an 18 year old brunette with a 32DD and an insatiable lust for randon men on the internet. I live 3 miles from you and I'd love to scramble your eggs xxx

I am fairly experienced at dating, Sir C and my warning antenna has triggered an alarm here. Any photos?

[Burney]

I think he means a bird that cooks with flares. You know, uses flares for cooking.

It's 2016; there's nothing wrong with it.

What? As in the trousers or as in 'distress flares'? I can see how the latter might work, but the former seems outlandish.

[Donald]

Good man! I wish you all the best. There used to be this bird called Hillary on here who was a bit of a goer by all accounts. Can't speak as to her tits, though. Used to eat week-old roast beef, which doesn't bode well on the cooking front.

Sorry for your loss, btw. How did your good lady wife come to shuffle off this mortal coil?

Thanks for the tip on this Hillary filly. I will keep my eye out on this one! .. My wife was sadly ripped to shreds by a shark off the coast of Papua New Guinea. I watched the entire ordeal from the boat.

[Sir C]

I am fairly experienced at dating, Sir C and my warning antenna has triggered an alarm here. Any photos?

This is me arriving at Burnley on Sunday.

Burnley.jpg