Things that could have gone better on my trip to Naples last week

[Sir C]

1) Not missing our flight (National Express delayed by 50 minutes. Cost of rebooking on the next flight 6 hours later on the other side of London = £130)
2) Not staying with the least welcoming and convivial Italian mother ever, whose idea of hospitality was giving me a wide berth every time she saw me and slamming a plate full of fried cheese balls in front of me for dinner, two nights in a row
3) Not driving two hours in the wrong direction to the beach, on the only sunny day
4) Not walking to our hire car to drive to the airport only to find it had been towed away and replaced by a street market, with no signs in sight (Cost or reclaiming our car = €150)

Apart form that, great trip.

Naples? You went to Naples?

**** me. If you want to experience the third world in all its grubby glory, you have the whole of sub-Saharan Africa from which to choose.

Naples? **** me.