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The sort of person who does so has been getting immoderately excited by the debut novel by Imogen Hermes Gowar, "The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock", so I have taken it upon myself to read and review this supposed masterpiece for you good people.
One reviewer noted that the 'prose shimmers like the titular temptress'; I note as follows: Nothing happens. Fúck all. No events. No happenings. No occurences. For hundreds of pages. Nothing.
Get yourself a nice, honest Dan Browne or something.
"About 18 months ago, Imogen Hermes Gowar found herself the focus of a publishing bidding war. What started as a 10-way auction for her debut historical novel, The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock, was whittled down to three final bidders. Gowar favoured Harvill Secker, but its bid of £205,000 was the lowest. “We went back and asked, ‘Can we have it in guineas?’”Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Gowar, 30, tells this anecdote in the graveyard of St Nicholas Deptford, as we tour the historic sites of the southeast London neighbourhood. I laugh delightedly, because — as well as cannily upping her advance by a shilling in every pound to £215,000 — this negotiation mirrors a pivotal deal in her novel."
Jesus ****ing wept
Novels, you see? Lot of nonsense. Deciding to give up literary novels is one of the best moves I've made. Frees up so much time for reading worthwhile stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Look at this. She is this sort of person.Quote:
Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda
"Imogen Hermes Gowar studied Archaeology, Anthropology and Art History before going on to work in museums. She began to write fiction inspired by the artefacts she worked with, and in 2013 won the Malcolm Bradbury Memorial Scholarship to study for an MA in Creative Writing at UEA."
An MA in creative writing. Like you can teach someone to write, ffs. Fúcking world obsessed with being at school populated by fúcking eternal students thinking everything can be reduced to fúcking learnt 'facts'. What of art? What of imagination? What of the joy of creativity? Is joy to be found in an MA?
She also has blue hair. She's probably non-binary.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
***this is an automated response. You seem to have mistakenly posted in a thread containing elements of heart, soul, joy or wonder. Kindly back up and remove yourself at once before you start slagging off theatre and live music as well, you dessicated automaton***Quote:
Originally Posted by burney
Increasingly, I believe that (recorded) music and the plastic arts are the only bits worth bothering with. If I can just wean myself off poetry, I can fück the literary arts in the bin altogether.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I can't remember the last time I read one. :shrug:Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Mrs WES bought me 'Wine and War' for Christmas, all about how the Frenchies spent so much time hiding their best wine from the Nazis. Very readable and doesn't in any way reinforce traditional stereotypes of the two nations involved. :hehe:
Next up - Vietnam and 'A Bright Shining Lie' :cloud9:
At some point I recommend you pause and consider just what it is that defines us as 'human'. You are speaking like someone who works in IT.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Yes, but it's all silly, madey-uppy stuff, isn't it? It's not real and so rarely even rings true. Indeed, we only call it 'good' when it manages to approach some semblance of verisimilitude. What's the point when non-fiction is so much more rich and strange - and involves stuff that actually happened?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
For instance, I'm currently reading 'The Faithful Executioner', a biography of Frantz Schmidt, an executioner in 16th Century Nuremberg based on his journals. It's a far more extraordinary story and far more revelatory of what one might call 'the human condition' than any novel I've read.
I make a distinction for rollicking historical novels involving war, of course.
btw, I see that vile communist Dan Snow is on Twitter hand-wringing about Dresden. Lord, but I cannot stand that man.
I'd be keen how the "gender is a social construct" brigade would explain the differing reading habits between men and women (the latter reading far more fiction).Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
:nod: In fact, there is an argument that the rise of the novel has had a feminising effect on society.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Christopher Marlowe is buried there. That is my contribution to the literature thread. Apparently there is a Grinling Gibbons wood carving inside, but as is usually the case I only got to see the outside of the church.Quote:
Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda
Thought it sounded familiar.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash
He of course died by getting stabbed in the eye in a tavern brawl/assassination.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash
Yes, and ten days after being arrested for being an atheist, which could have had him deaded anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney