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Thread: LiteraryWIMB

  1. #1

    LiteraryWIMB

    The sort of person who does so has been getting immoderately excited by the debut novel by Imogen Hermes Gowar, "The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock", so I have taken it upon myself to read and review this supposed masterpiece for you good people.

    One reviewer noted that the 'prose shimmers like the titular temptress'; I note as follows: Nothing happens. Fck all. No events. No happenings. No occurences. For hundreds of pages. Nothing.

    Get yourself a nice, honest Dan Browne or something.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    The sort of person who does so has been getting immoderately excited by the debut novel by Imogen Hermes Gowar, "The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock", so I have taken it upon myself to read and review this supposed masterpiece for you good people.

    One reviewer noted that the 'prose shimmers like the titular temptress'; I note as follows: Nothing happens. Fck all. No events. No happenings. No occurences. For hundreds of pages. Nothing.

    Get yourself a nice, honest Dan Browne or something.
    "About 18 months ago, Imogen Hermes Gowar found herself the focus of a publishing bidding war. What started as a 10-way auction for her debut historical novel, The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock, was whittled down to three final bidders. Gowar favoured Harvill Secker, but its bid of 205,000 was the lowest. “We went back and asked, ‘Can we have it in guineas?’”

    Gowar, 30, tells this anecdote in the graveyard of St Nicholas Deptford, as we tour the historic sites of the southeast London neighbourhood. I laugh delightedly, because — as well as cannily upping her advance by a shilling in every pound to 215,000 — this negotiation mirrors a pivotal deal in her novel."

    Jesus ****ing wept

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    The sort of person who does so has been getting immoderately excited by the debut novel by Imogen Hermes Gowar, "The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock", so I have taken it upon myself to read and review this supposed masterpiece for you good people.

    One reviewer noted that the 'prose shimmers like the titular temptress'; I note as follows: Nothing happens. Fck all. No events. No happenings. No occurences. For hundreds of pages. Nothing.

    Get yourself a nice, honest Dan Browne or something.
    Novels, you see? Lot of nonsense. Deciding to give up literary novels is one of the best moves I've made. Frees up so much time for reading worthwhile stuff.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda View Post
    "About 18 months ago, Imogen Hermes Gowar found herself the focus of a publishing bidding war. What started as a 10-way auction for her debut historical novel, The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock, was whittled down to three final bidders. Gowar favoured Harvill Secker, but its bid of 205,000 was the lowest. We went back and asked, Can we have it in guineas?

    Gowar, 30, tells this anecdote in the graveyard of St Nicholas Deptford, as we tour the historic sites of the southeast London neighbourhood. I laugh delightedly, because as well as cannily upping her advance by a shilling in every pound to 215,000 this negotiation mirrors a pivotal deal in her novel."

    Jesus ****ing wept
    Look at this. She is this sort of person.

    "Imogen Hermes Gowar studied Archaeology, Anthropology and Art History before going on to work in museums. She began to write fiction inspired by the artefacts she worked with, and in 2013 won the Malcolm Bradbury Memorial Scholarship to study for an MA in Creative Writing at UEA."

    An MA in creative writing. Like you can teach someone to write, ffs. Fcking world obsessed with being at school populated by fcking eternal students thinking everything can be reduced to fcking learnt 'facts'. What of art? What of imagination? What of the joy of creativity? Is joy to be found in an MA?

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Look at this. She is this sort of person.

    "Imogen Hermes Gowar studied Archaeology, Anthropology and Art History before going on to work in museums. She began to write fiction inspired by the artefacts she worked with, and in 2013 won the Malcolm Bradbury Memorial Scholarship to study for an MA in Creative Writing at UEA."

    An MA in creative writing. Like you can teach someone to write, ffs. Fcking world obsessed with being at school populated by fcking eternal students thinking everything can be reduced to fcking learnt 'facts'. What of art? What of imagination? What of the joy of creativity? Is joy to be found in an MA?
    She also has blue hair. She's probably non-binary.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by burney View Post
    novels, you see? Lot of nonsense. Deciding to give up literary novels is one of the best moves i've made. Frees up so much time for reading worthwhile stuff.
    ***this is an automated response. You seem to have mistakenly posted in a thread containing elements of heart, soul, joy or wonder. Kindly back up and remove yourself at once before you start slagging off theatre and live music as well, you dessicated automaton***

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    ***this is an automated response. You seem to have mistakenly posted in a thread containing elements of heart, soul, joy or wonder. Kindly back up and remove yourself at once before you start slagging off theatre and live music as well, you dessicated automaton***
    Increasingly, I believe that (recorded) music and the plastic arts are the only bits worth bothering with. If I can just wean myself off poetry, I can fck the literary arts in the bin altogether.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Novels, you see? Lot of nonsense. Deciding to give up literary novels is one of the best moves I've made. Frees up so much time for reading worthwhile stuff.
    I can't remember the last time I read one.

    Mrs WES bought me 'Wine and War' for Christmas, all about how the Frenchies spent so much time hiding their best wine from the Nazis. Very readable and doesn't in any way reinforce traditional stereotypes of the two nations involved.

    Next up - Vietnam and 'A Bright Shining Lie'

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Increasingly, I believe that (recorded) music and the plastic arts are the only bits worth bothering with. If I can just wean myself off poetry, I can fck the literary arts in the bin altogether.
    At some point I recommend you pause and consider just what it is that defines us as 'human'. You are speaking like someone who works in IT.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    At some point I recommend you pause and consider just what it is that defines us as 'human'. You are speaking like someone who works in IT.
    Yes, but it's all silly, madey-uppy stuff, isn't it? It's not real and so rarely even rings true. Indeed, we only call it 'good' when it manages to approach some semblance of verisimilitude. What's the point when non-fiction is so much more rich and strange - and involves stuff that actually happened?
    For instance, I'm currently reading 'The Faithful Executioner', a biography of Frantz Schmidt, an executioner in 16th Century Nuremberg based on his journals. It's a far more extraordinary story and far more revelatory of what one might call 'the human condition' than any novel I've read.


    I make a distinction for rollicking historical novels involving war, of course.


    btw, I see that vile communist Dan Snow is on Twitter hand-wringing about Dresden. Lord, but I cannot stand that man.

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