I think excitedly 'Why would the master of naval fiction be trending and why have they misspelt his name?'
Silly me. It turns out it's just someone who's called Ian Wright a 'Cųnt coon monkey ni99er'. Disappointing.
"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."
Hmm.. yes. Footballistically-speaking, he never did have much luck there, did he. Still, chap needs to man up.
Constantly hanging around with urban media-types can't help, I suppose; the money's probably good but they all love their racism far too much.
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"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."