If point no 2 didnt exist you'd be all over her P! Clearly you are a coward
Its sounds very seasonal and Love Actually like tbh , and it worked out well for everyone there* ...so bone away!
*except the lad with the signs and maybe more that ive forgotten about
I note that we are both ruling it out due to the risk/reward imbalance and not on the grounds that we love our wives very much and would never dream of hurting them, etc, etc.