Sorry but I'm getting desperate.
Smith is bizarre - I'm no expert on technique but he looks utterly hopeless. At one point he defended a ball from Broad and finished with body turned about 180 degrees from where he started with his body leaning to his right and his hands to his left with one hand off the bat.
Surely that can't be right? Also, on consecutive balls he edged just wide of the wicket keeper and then completely missed.
Does he play funny because of the massive horseshoe up his arse?
England can just fúck off. Why are they always, always like this? Why can't they just be fúcking competent and knock over the number nine batsman? Why? 40-odd years I've been watching these ****s and they never fail to find new ways to fúck me over. We're going to lose this match now. You watch. ****s.
'Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing
But different than the day before'
'Met a dwarf that was no good, dressed like Little Red Riding Hood'
'Now you're unemployed, all non-void
Walkin' round like you're Pretty Boy Floyd'