1/ Breaking up an eggshell with your spoon upon finishing the consumption of a boiled egg because otherwise witches will use the empty eggshells as boats and go and sink sailors' ships.
This is perfectly normal and responsible behaviour and everyone does it. FACT.
Sir C christened it a wánking shed simply because it has curtains. Now I didn't put those curtains in and neither have I ever performed acts of self-pollution behind them.
Should Sir C (or anyone else) continue to defame me in this way, they will be hearing from my lawyers.