Every time he goes missing wars and pestilence break out.
I don't have a shed on my allotment, h. I have a strongbox. I have never masturbated in it.
I do have a shed in my garden, though. When Sir C visited, he mocked it because it had curtains in the window (left there by the previous owner). He therefore concluded that these could only be there for sinister purposes and christened it 'The W@nking Shed'