You clearly know as much about fighting as you do about music, goalkeeping and how to retain a shred of dignity while driving a car.
On the moment of the fight kicking off Sanchez would be in the near distance having a childish strop and throwing his arms in the air while Coquelin would in general be milling around doing the square root of fúck all.
Gabriel would be dangerous in a fight. You can see in his eyes that he's not all there. What that means is that he doesn't see the consequences of stamping on someone's throat when they're on the floor, for example. He'd have no qualms over squeezing Mertesaker's throat until he stopped moving.
But yes, I like him as a player too. Sure, he's an especially good defender but as you say, he always tries his best. A bit like Jenkinson. It's not his fault that he's not very good.
"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."