If so, I will simply reply that your mum is a spoof.
Although the suggestion that Michael Owen may be some sort of criminal genius kingpin at the centre of this web of corruption does suggest its must be a joke.
I would quite like to see how referees have made Jamie Vardy does this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnncn1Hd3g8
Perhaps Howard Webb should manage England
I never thought anyone's voice could make me long for Trevor Brooking's wit and insight, but Owen has managed it.