Seriously, if you want to stop drinking for a bit, pour a bucket of ice water over yourself or grow a moustache, why don't you - and here's a novel idea - JUST F.UCKING DO IT? Stop trying to justify your attention-seeking behaviour by appending it to some charity you don't actually care about.

Alternatively, if you do care about this cause, why don't you try giving some money for it or volunteering in some way that doesn't involve you plastering self-serving messages about it all over social media?

Oh, because you're an unspeakable, self-righteous, attention-seeking c**t, that's why.