I was getting changed after my run when the customary stink filled my nostrils. However, on this occasion, there was another chap changing there as well, so to allay any suspicion that this funk had emanated from me, I mentioned the phantom ****ter, upon which he pointed out that, rather than abutting the gents, it was next to the ladies, meaning that...

...THE PHANTOM ****TER IS ACTUALLY A WOMAN!

This somehow makes the whole thing worse.