I wonder if Berta knows who to speak to about greasing palms.

[Rich]

There?s no doubt it happens in the CL (see van Persie red card for kicking the ball away).

And I?m sure it has happened in the PL (when our 49 game unbeaten run came to an end against United).

We?ve never seemed to be on the right side of it and you can bet PSG?s Qataris will be more than willing to pay for the right result in the final.

So? who must we speak with?

[Peter]

There?s no doubt it happens in the CL (see van Persie red card for kicking the ball away).

And I?m sure it has happened in the PL (when our 49 game unbeaten run came to an end against United).

We?ve never seemed to be on the right side of it and you can bet PSG?s Qataris will be more than willing to pay for the right result in the final.

So? who must we speak with?

We dont do that sort of thing. We dont want to win that way.

Anyway, they will just outbid us.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

There?s no doubt it happens in the CL (see van Persie red card for kicking the ball away).

And I?m sure it has happened in the PL (when our 49 game unbeaten run came to an end against United).

We?ve never seemed to be on the right side of it and you can bet PSG?s Qataris will be more than willing to pay for the right result in the final.

So? who must we speak with?

The sister of one of my best ever mates {RIP} was married to a Daily Mirror sports writer. They found that for the CWC final in '94, Parma tried to bribe the ref by sending a lady of the night to his hotel room before the game. But it transpired that the ref batted for the other side.

My mate's brother-in-law wanted to go with the headline "Up The Arse" but the paper wouldn't let him.

[Peter]

The sister of one of my best ever mates {RIP} was married to a Daily Mirror sports writer. They found that for the CWC final in '94, Parma tried to bribe the ref by sending a lady of the night to his hotel room before the game. But it transpired that the ref batted for the other side.

My mate's brother-in-law wanted to go with the headline "Up The Arse" but the paper wouldn't let him.

And Parma couldn't find a kit man to literally 'take one for the team'???