Imagine waking each morning to that screeching, opening your eyes and seeing her sour face an inch from yours, her gin-scented spittle flecking your face as she abuses you for whatever imagined slight her twisted sense of victimhood has conjured overnight.
A ball-gag and a swift bout of rough, unlubricated anal would soften her cough pretty swiftly imo.
Number 1's a Brummie so she's out
Number 2 would drive me to drink which would be a fat lot of use if she's already been at the drinks cabinet
Number 3 IS a fat lot of use who'd forever be using my razor to deal with her 5 O'Clock shadow so I'd have to grow a beard
Hmmm. I couldn't go near Phillips due to the smell. Abbott's a no-no since if that's she looks like scrubbed up, imagine the state of it first thing in the morning.
It'd have to be Soubry. I'd obviously devote my existence to making her live an utter misery and sexually degrading her, but such sacrifices must me made, I'm afraid.
Abbott actually had quite a pretty face when she was younger.