Well if you say so. But I’m sure you can appreciate the concern of a friend that a gentleman of your gravity and social status might be discovered squatting behind a bush, coiling down a monstrous turd prior to wiping your arse with a lump of moss.
Happily, my excellent diet ensures that my waste products are of a manageable size and carry no displeasing aromas.
I would contend that extruding large turds is a sign of coarse breeding.
I yearn to be at one with nature and, to this end, have decided to take up wild camping. There is a particular spot up by Angle Tarn at which I am determind to watch the sun set, frying sausages over a wood fire. But I overtake myself. In order to learn the secrets of camping I have purchased some equipment with which I will practise in teh garden: a tent, two sleeping bags and two bed rolls. The total cost of these items? £83.
That's value, that is.
I have always found the camping experience to be enhanced hugely by magic mushrooms.
I yearn to be at one with nature and, to this end, have decided to take up wild camping. There is a particular spot up by Angle Tarn at which I am determind to watch the sun set, frying sausages over a wood fire. But I overtake myself. In order to learn the secrets of camping I have purchased some equipment with which I will practise in teh garden: a tent, two sleeping bags and two bed rolls. The total cost of these items? £83.
That's value, that is.
I have successfully erected the tent. It's yooge!
Word to the wise. When seeking quality camping equipment, don't go to Argos.
Are you suggesting there are no crocodiles in east Africa?
The crocodiles of East Africa are notoriously effete c. One need only mention Australian salt water crocodiles to them and they become tearful and frightened. Glorified alligators!