Not long after the equalizer, I heard a commotion downstairs cos the glw had accidentally stepped on Puddle Paws.

Seeing him at the bottom of the stairs, I meeowed at him, and he ran up and gave me a headbutt kiss. I had muted the sound on the computer stream, but without thinking, I lay down on my back on the sofabed, and he jumped onto my chest, which is how he likes us to stroke him.

If I turned my head, I could sort of see the game on one of the monitors. I stoked and watched for a bit, then next time I looked, there's a commotion with players lying on the floor. Hoping we haven't given away a pen, I then see a replay of our players celebrating.

I call my missus to bring us a pillow and unmute the sound, and give PP a stroke, and she confirms we are 2-1 up.

I keep lying and stroking and then my cat prayed to Bastet, and said "My human helped me in my hour of need and chose me ahead of the footy. Reward him, oh Goddess of Pussycats."

And Bastet went and spoketh unto her father, the Sun God Ra, and toldeth him what had come to pass.

And lo! He commanded his man-servant El Neny to stick it into the onion bag from 25 yards. And it was done.

As soon as the replays finished and the game restarted, my cat jumped off me and walked out, with a "my work here is done."

So basically, be especially nice to your cats when Mo is on the pitch for us.

If you want to make an offering, Puddle Paws really likes raw fish.