Look, I just want to pop to the seaside, sit at a nice seafood restaurant

[Burney]

and enjoy a simple lunch. Let's start with a bottle of Nyetimber and a dozen natives, discreetly drawing a veil across the fact that it's June. To follow, a nice Gavi di Gavi to accompany a simply grilled cold lobster with mayonnaise. Perhaps a few cheeky skinny fries on the side. Now that our bouche is nicely amused, let's move on to the main event: a large Dover sole, meuniere naturally, served on the bone with some Jersey Royals and a side of samphire. To remain hydrated we'll take something red, light and slightly chilled. A little pinot noir, perhaps? The sommelier can decide.

Because I believe in moderation in all matters I shall eschew dessert in favour of a selection of cheeses and a good crusty bottle of port.

See? I don't ask for much. Just a few simple pleasures.

You'll have to sit in a plastic greenhouse so you can't infect other diners.

Actually, I rather like that idea. I'd happily have gone for that before all this - just so as not to have to listen to other people's conversations as much as anything.

[Sir C]

You'll have to sit in a plastic greenhouse so you can't infect other diners.

Actually, I rather like that idea. I'd happily have gone for that before all this - just so as not to have to listen to other people's conversations as much as anything.

I'm making plans for going away on holiday. What do you think of this bad boy? https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Nugent-Sp....c100005.m1851

[Burney]

I'm making plans for going away on holiday. What do you think of this bad boy? https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Nugent-Sp....c100005.m1851

Why do you have to take your horses on holiday with you?

[Sir C]

Why do you have to take your horses on holiday with you?

How could I not? The poor babies would be lonely. Who would give them their first feed at 5, hay at 9, brushy-brushy and hay at midday, hay and ponyfun at 5, evening carrot or apple at 9?

[Burney]

How could I not? The poor babies would be lonely. Who would give them their first feed at 5, hay at 9, brushy-brushy and hay at midday, hay and ponyfun at 5, evening carrot or apple at 9?

'Ponyfun'?

[Sir C]

'Ponyfun'?

Oh yes, it's fun to have fun with ponies! You can do pole obstacle courses, long-reining, taking them for a walk up the hill to the park or just a garden visit to munch on some lush grass.

Don't you like ponyfun?

[Burney]

Oh yes, it's fun to have fun with ponies! You can do pole obstacle courses, long-reining, taking them for a walk up the hill to the park or just a garden visit to munch on some lush grass.

Don't you like ponyfun?

Aren't your cats jealous of all the love you're showing the ponies?

[barrybueno]

How could I not? The poor babies would be lonely. Who would give them their first feed at 5, hay at 9, brushy-brushy and hay at midday, hay and ponyfun at 5, evening carrot or apple at 9?

I can do all that for a bag a week C. Although I only ever get up at 5 for a piss and I'd prob still be in bed at 9 too. Midday bit no worries but I'd be drinking at 5 so no ponyfun and I'd prob be passed out at 9. As you can see I'm ya man!

[Sir C]

I can do all that for a bag a week C. Although I only ever get up at 5 for a piss and I'd prob still be in bed at 9 too. Midday bit no worries but I'd be drinking at 5 so no ponyfun and I'd prob be passed out at 9. As you can see I'm ya man!

The job’s yours b. That’s a mighty fine interview.

[barrybueno]

The job’s yours b. That’s a mighty fine interview.

Great news Sir. Gosh I was so nervous! We're talking cash right? Can keep my Boris money rolling in then, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more