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Thread: I've just wandered into my office to check it hasn't burnt down

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda View Post
    I'm delighted to hear it. Though probably getting two horsies and developing your sense of smell back might be unfortunate
    Indeed. It's not the horseshít that smells, it's more the horse píss. The area around the cathedral in Seville has hundreds of these carriage rides and the magnificence of the building is very much undercut by the all-powerful reek of horse píss.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Indeed. It's not the horseshít that smells, it's more the horse píss. The area around the cathedral in Seville has hundreds of these carriage rides and the magnificence of the building is very much undercut by the all-powerful reek of horse píss.
    Excuse me, I’ll have you know my ponies’ piss does not reek. And anyway, they don’t piss near the house, they do it on the other side of the field. What sort of ponies do you think I have for all love?

    I love the warm smell of horses. And hay scented horsebreath! Just beautiful.

  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Excuse me, I’ll have you know my ponies’ piss does not reek. And anyway, they don’t piss near the house, they do it on the other side of the field. What sort of ponies do you think I have for all love?

    I love the warm smell of horses. And hay scented horsebreath! Just beautiful.
    Have you got a chariot yet?

  4. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Have you got a chariot yet?
    I’ve looked into it. They’re surprisingly expensive.

    Some pikey went past on one the other day and Barney went mental with excitement. I fear he misses the pikey lifestyle.

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I’ve looked into it. They’re surprisingly expensive.

    Some pikey went past on one the other day and Barney went mental with excitement. I fear he misses the pikey lifestyle.
    Expensive? How can they be expensive? They're just carts!

    Has Barney started eyeing up lead roofs and offering to tarmac your drive?

  6. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Expensive? How can they be expensive? They're just carts!

    Has Barney started eyeing up lead roofs and offering to tarmac your drive?
    He’s such a sweetie. He pokes his velvety muzzle into my face for kisses and we blow up each others’ noses

    I wish I’d found a pony years ago!

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    He’s such a sweetie. He pokes his velvety muzzle into my face for kisses and we blow up each others’ noses

    I wish I’d found a pony years ago!
    This sort of thing is how Coronavirus started. And the bad AIDS.

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    This sort of thing is how Coronavirus started. And the bad AIDS.
    I’m going to have to wash his winkie soon

  9. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    This sort of thing is how Coronavirus started. And the bad AIDS.
    he'll be taken the horse up to Stow-on-the-Wold before long...
    “Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”

  10. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I’m going to have to wash his winkie soon
    Nice. Are you planning to film it for certain specialist websites?

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