I left a home game at half time once.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Did you not give yourself away by speaking a language recognisable as English, h?

I once watched us come back from 0-2 down in the Cup from the North Bank of Upton Park. When Merse equalised I jumped in the air and, just as a cheer was about to escape my lips, I managed to strangle it so that it ended up sounding something like 'YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAOUUUUUCUUUUNTTT!'

I still got some fúcking iffy looks.

Geordie grandad b. I can do a half decent toon accent and when you're chanting no-one notices