Boris goes where no politician dares to tread and acknowledges the unique evil of

[Burney]

I need an idea for a lowish carb, lowish calorie dinner tonight. The ingredients I have are: a half side of salmon, some lemons, some frozen peas, a swede and staples such as onions, garlic and cupboard stuff.

Any bright ideas?

Well the first thing is to take the swede, chop it into bite-size pieces and give the fúcking thing to the horse.

Beyond that, roast the salmon, serve with lemon and tarragon butter sauce with a pea purée on the side.