Basic rule for the Royal Family: DO NOT MARRY AMERICAN DIVORCEES.

[Burney]

I wouldn't like to be Christine Keeler's son. I mean, she was a lady of negotiable virtue and all that, but even when not being paid, she appears to have been exceedingly free with her favours.

Yes, school must have been tricky for the poor chap. Can't be easy if your mum actually is a slag.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I still feel like I'm mates with The Old Man, Tiny, Porta and the Legionnaire. Julius Heide, not so much.

I'm pretty sure that at some point the Legionnaire stopped being Muslim for a while and became a Buddhist. Also he had a peculiarly on/off relationship with booze.

Was the Legionnaire the one whose tackle had been shot off in an earlier campaign?

Every man with a little spirit and adventure has, at some time in their life, befriended a Tiny. You quickly realize that he is so out of your league when it comes to brawing and boozing that you will soon end up disappointing him so best to extricate yourself from the friendship before you get seriously injured.

[Burney]

I wouldn't like to be Christine Keeler's son. I mean, she was a lady of negotiable virtue and all that, but even when not being paid, she appears to have been exceedingly free with her favours.

Do these people ever stop to consider just how drearily conservative these maunderings are? In essence, they are no different to previous generations bemoaning unwelcome societal change in everything from votes for women to the end of the death penalty and the legalisation of homosexuality. Things change - deal with it.

[Burney]

Oh yes, there's Brexit and there's Trump.

Daft old bugger. George would have told him to man up and get on with it.

Do these people ever stop to consider just how drearily conservative these maunderings are? In essence, they are no different to previous generations bemoaning unwelcome societal change in everything from votes for women to the end of the death penalty and the legalisation of homosexuality. Things change - deal with it.

[Sir C]

Was the Legionnaire the one whose tackle had been shot off in an earlier campaign?

Every man with a little spirit and adventure has, at some time in their life, befriended a Tiny. You quickly realize that he is so out of your league when it comes to brawing and boozing that you will soon end up disappointing him so best to extricate yourself from the friendship before you get seriously injured.

I believe his 'nads were sliced off by some bedouins.

Remember when Tiny got married? While they were convalescing ina Hamburg hospital? She was a huge lump.

[Burney]

I believe his 'nads were sliced off by some bedouins.

Remember when Tiny got married? While they were convalescing ina Hamburg hospital? She was a huge lump.

I got confused there and thought you meant John Le Carré.

[Sir C]

I got confused there and thought you meant John Le Carré.

You never read the Sven Hassels, did you?

I don't believe there is any way to come to them as an adult, sadly. They need to be imbibed in childhood, and then they may be sipped at from time to time in adulthood.

[Burney]

You never read the Sven Hassels, did you?

I don't believe there is any way to come to them as an adult, sadly. They need to be imbibed in childhood, and then they may be sipped at from time to time in adulthood.

Sadly not. I had no interest in reading about the baddies.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

You never read the Sven Hassels, did you?

I don't believe there is any way to come to them as an adult, sadly. They need to be imbibed in childhood, and then they may be sipped at from time to time in adulthood.

Adolescence more than childhood.

[Burney]

Adolescence more than childhood.

Not the sort of distinction one would care to try and explain to a judge, h.