Manchester bum rapist!

[Burney]

Fúck my fellow man, b. Fúck him firmly in the arse.

Did you learn nothing from A Christmas Carol?

[IUFG]

People get terribly upset about you flushing them, though. They don't break down, y'see?

Our drains got blocked several years back and there was a fúck awful smell coming up through our sink.
I called in Dynarod (or similar) in and they rodded the drains. They looked into the manhole as they rodded it and a load of baby wipes got blasted out. We were the end of the drain line and they could have only come from the next door neighbour's house. At the time, they had four kids aged 5 and under

I went round and explained that I'd paid £100 or so to have the drains cleared. At that point the Scouse neighbour said "Cheers, I wondered what the smell was." and closed the door. The ****.

Made me wonder what his house normally smelled like, not to actually do anything himself.

Never offered me a penny.

Serves him right that the two youngest kids turned out not to be his...

[Burney]

Our drains got blocked several years back and there was a fúck awful smell coming up through our sink.
I called in Dynarod (or similar) in and they rodded the drains. They looked into the manhole as they rodded it and a load of baby wipes got blasted out. We were the end of the drain line and they could have only come from the next door neighbour's house. At the time, they had four kids aged 5 and under

I went round and explained that I'd paid £100 or so to have the drains cleared. At that point the Scouse neighbour said "Cheers, I wondered what the smell was." and closed the door. The ****.

Made me wonder what his house normally smelled like, not to actually do anything himself.

Never offered me a penny.

Serves him right that the two youngest kids turned out not to be his...

The story of your scouse cuckold neighbour is intriguing.

I've told you, I think, about the Thames Water man we called in to peer into the sewer that ran next to our house who rang my doorbell and then proceeded to present on a shovel a pair of Y-Fronts with the words 'There's your problem!' while strongly implying that they were mine.

[IUFG]

The story of your scouse cuckold neighbour is intriguing.

I've told you, I think, about the Thames Water man we called in to peer into the sewer that ran next to our house who rang my doorbell and then proceeded to present on a shovel a pair of Y-Fronts with the words 'There's your problem!' while strongly implying that they were mine.

why were you flushing your Y-fronts down the toilet, b?

heavily soiled them?

[Sir C]

I read something the other day about how, in Japan, massage parlours give you a hot towel to clean up your bits afterwards and then send them to the laundry, who then clean them and redistribute them to restaurants. For this reason, nobody uses them on their face, apparently. And when they see Westerners do so, they're horrified.

I'm aware that many aspects of this story sound like bóllocks, but I'm just repeating what I read.

I wouldn't mind wiping my face on someone's dick flannel if it had been washed in the interim.

[Burney]

why were you flushing your Y-fronts down the toilet, b?

heavily soiled them?

They were clearly not mine! Indeed, I protested vehemently.

I can't imagine how bad the situation would have to be to occasion attempting to flush your pants. It's a high-risk manoeuvre to say the least.

[Sir C]

Did you learn nothing from A Christmas Carol?

This modern version? I haven't watched it yet. I watched the Alistair Sim one. And the Bill Murray one.

Also, I quite enjoyed Dracula until episode 3. I switched it off in disgust with 30 minutes still to run last night.

[Burney]

I wouldn't mind wiping my face on someone's dick flannel if it had been washed in the interim.

Nor me, especially, but we're not Japanese.

Generally, speaking, I don't like flannels. I generally assume they've been put to unpleasant use by someone and would never put anything other than one I knew to be freshly-laundered near my face.

[Burney]

This modern version? I haven't watched it yet. I watched the Alistair Sim one. And the Bill Murray one.

Also, I quite enjoyed Dracula until episode 3. I switched it off in disgust with 30 minutes still to run last night.

Yes, I stopped paying attention to the third episode. Something about her having cancer or something. I forget.

[Sir C]

Nor me, especially, but we're not Japanese.

Generally, speaking, I don't like flannels. I generally assume they've been put to unpleasant use by someone and would never put anything other than one I knew to be freshly-laundered near my face.

I find the thought of them extremely repulsive. They bring to mind the image of old ladies having a 'strip wash' at the sink, instead of a shower. The dirty old gets.

Old lady clunge and grey pubes. That's what flannels contain.