Nigel Farage had recommended me to start work at MI5, so I went along with him for the first day, only to be told that I should have brought my passport with me and couldn't come in without one.

I ended up having a right go at Nigel for not having told me I needed to bring my passport and the whole thing very nearly came to blows in the lobby of MI5's offices. I think I woke up just after I'd grabbed him by the lapels and called him a 'stupid c@nt'.