Pardoning the bird suggests that its demise would have been a punishment of retribution for some crime, surely? What crime have the turkeys of America committed then?
Also on Thanksgiving, it happens on a Thursday, right? And Amerikans don't really have holidays or time off work. I bet the daft bástards all go in on Friday.
"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."
I had a couple of those standard white jobs, bred for meat, and they lived happily for 10 years or so, although they were so obese they could barely waddle around.
The male bird was extremely aggressive and used to masturbate on the lawn. Turkeys produce an alarming quantity of semen.
He rubbed itself on the grass. He made a sort of slapping, slurping sound. Quite disturbing, really. He was most aggressive to me because he saw the glw of the time as one of his women, and attacked me whenever I entered the garden; when she went outside he immediately waddled over and rubbed himself against her leg until he spunked on her shoes.
Strange times, in retrospect.
How long did this usually take him? And did she just happily stand there and take it?
Funny you should mention spunk on shoes, though. I washed my hands in the loo before going out for a walk, pressing the pump thing for soap. Only halfway round my walk through Enfield did I realise that it had come out rather too forcefully and I'd been wandering around with what appeared to be jizz on my shoe.