My lunchtime was unsatisfactory, AWIMB

[Burney]

First of all, my lady wasn't there and some bloke served me and his interpretation of 'spicy' was frankly brutal.

I then took my near-lethal sandwich to the park to eat, but no sooner had I sat down than a ferocious rainstorm blew up, forcing me to shelter under a tree for 15 minutes.

So, in other words, what was meant to be s lovely, tasty lunch in the spring sunshine was actually me under a tree in a ****ing hurricane, crying, snotting and drooling due to extreme chilli heat.

Unsatisfactory

[SWv2]

The whole park bench thing just makes you look like a gyppo, or a pervert.

Neither of which I expect is the image you were hoping to purvey to the outside world when you set out today.

[Jake]

My hat blew off in the wind and I had to run to catch it, holding a Pret bag.

It was a sad scene.

[Burney]

The whole park bench thing just makes you look like a gyppo, or a pervert.

Neither of which I expect is the image you were hoping to purvey to the outside world when you set out today.

But this is surely what park benches are supposed to be for, isn't it? We can't let them be solely the preserve of old people, drunk teenagers, perverts and spies meeting their handlers, can we?

[Burney]

My hat blew off in the wind and I had to run to catch it, holding a Pret bag.

It was a sad scene.

Before I decide whether to sympathise or not, you're going to have to describe the hat.

[redgunamo]

Before I decide whether to sympathise or not, you're going to have to describe the hat.

I was just about to say..

[Luis Anaconda]

But this is surely what park benches are supposed to be for, isn't it? We can't let them be solely the preserve of old people, drunk teenagers, perverts and spies meeting their handlers, can we?

Absolutely right, b (although I initially read that as the perverts were also meeting their handlers)

[SWv2]

But this is surely what park benches are supposed to be for, isn't it? We can't let them be solely the preserve of old people, drunk teenagers, perverts and spies meeting their handlers, can we?

I get all that but I don't make the rules.

Well dressed middle-aged man sat on a park bench alone = pervert/nonce. The sandwich, irrespective of filling or bread type, is simply a form of cover.

Look at me, I am not a pervert, merely a chap on lunch.

[Burney]

I get all that but I don't make the rules.

Well dressed middle-aged man sat on a park bench alone = pervert/nonce. The sandwich, irrespective of filling or bread type, is simply a form of cover.

Look at me, I am not a pervert, merely a chap on lunch.

I'm casually dressed. Jeans, blue shirt, windcheater-type jacket - does that help at all?

[IUFG]

perving in Hertford Castle grounds?