These 'medicals' really are a load of bollox.

[Mack]

Dr Arse: 'Good morning, Mr Ozil- how are you?
Ozil : 'Fine, thank you'
Dr Arse: 'When was your last physical examination?'
Ozil: 'Yesterday, as usual after training '
Dr Arse: 'How are your ligaments '
Ozil : 'Fine'
Dr Arse: 'Good man, you pass. That will be £25,000 please'

[Dorset Gooner]

[Pat Vegas]

[Nicosia Gooner]

[Billy Goat Sverige]

[Dutch Gooner]