Would Monty care to respond?
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Would Monty care to respond?
Attachment 1180
To be fair, Jeremy has a bit of time on his hand these daysQuote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Seems perfectly plausible to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
But how does this explain Chewbacca on Endor :rubchin:
I said we'd eventually turn this into an excuse for persecuting the Jews! It's a cast-iron law.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Out of interest, where do the commie kikes come into the equation? They're the ones you've really got to watch out for.
. . . . . . . .Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Oh, I know loads of 'em. Basically my mum's generation who were in their teens/20s during the 60s. A number of them had socialist leanings but were put off by the hedonism/drugs scene in Europe/US at that time, and felt a strong affinity with Israel so went to live on a (comparatively genteel and wholesome) Kibbutz, which further pushed them into the ideological clutches of communism.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Really? I thought Kibbutzes were hotbeds of rampant sexy time?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
How's things with your da, btw?
i expect M is inching toward that slightly awkward question that vexes him most "Err Pops....about your will."Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
I think the Jewishers have a perfectly normal tolerance/inclination for sexytime. My mum has certainly dropped hints that she didn't go short of dick during her stint in the Holy Land.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
My da is doing terribly, unfortunately. As suspected, he was a man only able to function with the clutch of a routine. He's an empty shell after just 3 weeks - it's been quite staggering to watch. He called me this morning to ask what he should wear today. Three weeks ago he was still working fulltime!
Quite frankly, nothing in life would make me happier than if he died peacefully in his sleep.
:-( I'm sorry to hear that. Can you not set him to work in the garden or something?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
My experience of JPs is that they’re extremely keen on the dirty business, actually.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Sadly not.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
It's impossible to explain what he's like to someone who doesn't know him. He's never been clinically assessed, but I certainly suspect he has an extremely low IQ and is essentially a cognitive vegetable. The idea of him turning his hand to anything beyond basic functions (and even those he is now struggling with) is simply inconceivable.
Sadly he's still in good health and this situation is very unlikely to finish him off, meaning I'm lumbered with him for the foreseeable.
F*ck. My. Life.
Is this as a result of some medical event? He hasn't always been like this, surely?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Can you not, y’know. Off him?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
This is the same man that you went to Highbury with every week when I first encountered you on AWIMB. You never made any reference to his condition back then. What happened?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
You don't need to actually say it c, we all know what Monty's about here. He can't move until he knows a) where the will is and b) is he [Monty] the main beneficiary.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
There couldn't be a better time for a spot of freelance euthanasia, tbf. No-one's going to be looking too closely at a dead OAP in the current circumstances, are they?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Not that I've ever been told of. My mum tells me he went through quite a traumatic early divorce when he was 18 (before he met my mum) and then had a hard time when he later split from my mum. But no, nothing other than that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
It's a very strange case. I've met some very stupid people, but no-one quite like me da, the hapless f*cker.
From what you say, he almost sounds autistic - or at least there or thereabouts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
But you're not a mong and - I presume - neither is your sister (although I do remember something about her voting for Corbyn in 2017), so he can't be a congenital idiot, surely?
Funny you say that b, I have an acquaintance who is a DCI in the Met. He tells me they are acutely aware of and have been detailed to focus on the sharp increase that they know there will be in opportunistic murder. They have a team closely scrutinizing every home death.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
:-( SpoilsportsQuote:
Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman
Oh yes, I would certainly say he's autistic. Some obsessive behavioural traits in the mix, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Old Maureen has got a somewhat sharper brain, but it's true to say that me and my sis provide compelling evidence that you can escape your genetic fate, whatever that curly haired c*nt Steven Pinker says.
Fascinating. Without wishing to be indelicate, are you absolutely certain you're...y'know...his?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Divorced at 18? Jesus fúckíng wept (or whatever you lot say)Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
TBF his lot did actually make Jesus weep, so you can say thatQuote:
Originally Posted by barrybueno
I've just realised that this will probably see Anderson's test career end without a send-off. :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda
He's your dad, stop being a moaning **** and look after him for as long as it takesQuote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
When they test him and are devastated to find no trace of Corona... Well you don't need to be Columbo to realise that Monty did it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
You don't need to go to those lengths. Just push him down some stairs or whatever.Quote:
Originally Posted by barrybueno
This thread has gone very sinister very quickly. Poor M's dad :cry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Oh, I'm not saying he should! I'm just saying what I'd do if I wanted to kill an elderly relative in the current circs.Quote:
Originally Posted by barrybueno
But before Jez, we never really used to do that sort of thing here. We always went for the Papists. And that's one part of our Reformation exceptionalism I fully support. Like the fact that putting the word of God over artistic frippery is why we have no Mozart or Caravaggio, but do have Shakespeare and Austin.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
I say we burn a few papists to see whether that defeats the virus, like the good old days.
We definitely did do that here. Clifford's Tower, St Hugh of Lincoln. The only reason they didn't get done over during the Black Death here was because they'd been kicked out in 1290 and not allowed back until Cromwell's Protectorate. Some blamed the French for the 1665 plague, but generally the papists didn't get blamed for plagues. Other things, yes (Titus Oates, etc), but not plague.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult
Great as in leaving no evidence but not guaranteed. You could end up with the disaster of just a broken hip. Although that would mean hospital and the inevitable Corona death. OK I'm on board, it's pure genius :thumbup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
On this, I note that the Jewish Chronicle has just gone tits up. Doubtless this is all part of the fiendish Jewish plot - allaying our suspicions while they get on with reducing us all to mindless drones with their vaccines. :nod:Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Zioni...sus_BolshevismQuote:
Originally Posted by Burney
The Gasmeister Churchill's view on those chaps.
I was going to mention that in the list but didn't want to consider itQuote:
Originally Posted by Burney