flopping about like a gaffed fish they didn't pop a couple more in his canister to be certain? If he had had a suicide vest this could have been a rather costly bit of restraint.
Mind you, imagine dying outside Boots. :-(
flopping about like a gaffed fish they didn't pop a couple more in his canister to be certain? If he had had a suicide vest this could have been a rather costly bit of restraint.
Mind you, imagine dying outside Boots. :-(
Lordy, did he do the twitching thing? How remarkably disturbing. :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Did you see the footage of the copper trying to clear the restaurant? "There's been a terrorist incident, please leave."
"But I've only just ordered!"
:nod: He looked like he was breakdancing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
As for the diners, they were at least trying to keep calm and carry on. Laudable imo.
How's Barney getting on?
:nod: In such a situation, I think i’d take the time to at least finish my cup of tea. Has he got a genuine explosive vest or, has he just taped a few plastic bottles together in a fairly embarrassing manner? The odds are rather in your favour imo.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
:nod: And what better way to show your defiance of Islamist terror than by consuming your Sunday roast at your leisure?Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Trent
For me, the policeman is being hysterical and this sort of namby-pamby, Health & Safety-obsessed nonsense is precisely what we voted Brexit to put an end to.
Your "patriotic" Sunday roast comprising of absolutely nothing natively British :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Fascist.
He's doing swimmingly, tbh.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
The search for a companion has fallen foul of some mission creep. At first she was looking at donkey sanctuaries. Then we moved on to pony sanctuaries. Now I'm being shown adverts in Horse & Hound for 17 hand hunters. :-(
:hehe: That was ace. These people really do think we're all dribbling, semi-evolved cretins who don't know that things come from elsewhere, don't they? It's actually quite refreshing to see their hatred and bile completely and unequivocally out in the open now that they're writhing around in the agony of defeat.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Happily, them revealing quite how vile they are only serves to makes their pain so much more delicious.
This was clearly inevitable and you must have known it would happen. You will be running a stables within the year.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Will it be a companion for sexy time? Does he still have his accoutrements?
By the way, you know these little chaps live for 40-odd years if well looked after, don't you? The strong likelihood is that Barney will outlive you.
Barney has been gelded, poor lamb.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Remember last week when I was yearning for a legacy? There it is. I may buiy a giant tortoise as well, those *******s live forever.
Ah, well it's probably a mercy, to be fair. Otherwise his monstrous member would probably be dragging on the ground all the time. And I know only too well what a misery that is!Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
The Galapagos tortoise? Stephen would be unspeakably envious.
Do you actually have any experience in this endeavour, or are you planning to learn on the hoof?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I seem to remember Sir C telling me that he has dabbled in horseflesh in a previous life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
One had ponies as a child, naturally. But that would be 40 years ago, so some book learning is required.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
He still has a *****, b. He's been gelded, not mutilated by a maniac.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Yes, but it won't be as long - or as potentially tumescent, presumably?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Anyway, it feels wrong to be discussing the poor chap's genital mishaps like this. We should change the subject.
If it's cold. won't you have to make some sort of shelter for him? Or will you just bring him into the house?
Will he have a little coat?
Will you ever make him wear a little hat for your own amusement? I ask this because I have seen pictures of this practice and it pleases me.
Attachment 1158
I have ordered a stable block. It is currently being built by a man in Norfolk. Room for two horses, with a tack room included.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
He doesn't actually need a shelter; he's a hardy chap. Of course his companion might be rather more delicate...
He will NOT wear a hat. Ever. I may sport something along the lines of a ten gallon jobbie. Or a Ronnie van Zant.
Mercy me Berni, I thought your newly regained sovereignty and freedoms might make you more pleasant but you seem to be yet more bellicose and vitriolic :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Did you see pretty Priti being asked why this fellow had been released after she had assured us it would all stop the day she took office? Her response was "fúck off you moaning remainer çunt". She gives me a chubby b.
:hehe: All this because you happened to find a horse! The speed with which these things happen once your glw gets the bit between her teeth is somewhat awe-inspiring.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
The hat news is sad, though. I am disappoint. A quick google of 'horses in hats' makes it clear that equipping one's equine chum with the latest millinery is a source of great humour.
Attachment 1159
Nah. Fúck reconciliation. I see you lot as treasonous filth and fully support any policy that involves keeping our boot on your neck.Quote:
Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman
No offence, like.
I do like Priti. She has a properly evil and sadistic twinkle in her eye that's highly alluring.
She's short, fat and has calves like Jonah Lumu suffering with water retention.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
I'd approach her face with great enthusiasm, but like f*ck am I venturing below the neck.
She has filled out a bit of late, it must be said. However, I'd still take her over scrawny pieces like your scraggy-necked, wrinkled-dugged Maitlis woman.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Or his commie, jew-baiting wife
You're just a soppy gynaephobe m. You have as good as confessd on this very board that you have never eaten poontangQuote:
Originally Posted by Monty92