If you’re interested in a Boris and his government are useless anecdote

read on.

So Master WES has a sore throat, and a bit of a cough. He goes to the nurse at his school who takes his temperature and despite the fact that he has no temperature and has not lost his sense of smell or taste, she sends him home with the instruction to get a Covid test.

Mrs WES picks him up and tries to book a test in Guildford where there is a large testing centre. The government’s app comes back telling her there are no available slots. So she drives to the test centre where the people tell her they have plenty of capacity but cannot give him a test until she books one online. She points out that she can’t because the app won’t let her despite there being plenty of capacity. The people at the test centre apologise for this but say there is nothing they can do.

Boris = fat blithering idiot
Hancock = useless blithering idiot
Witty = grinch faced mong who needs horse whipping
Neil Ferguson = arrogant tosser who should suffer an agonising death

To think, this country once ruled the world :hehe:

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Originally Posted by WES

read on.

So Master WES has a sore throat, and a bit of a cough. He goes to the nurse at his school who takes his temperature and despite the fact that he has no temperature and has not lost his sense of smell or taste, she sends him home with the instruction to get a Covid test.

Mrs WES picks him up and tries to book a test in Guildford where there is a large testing centre. The government’s app comes back telling her there are no available slots. So she drives to the test centre where the people tell her they have plenty of capacity but cannot give him a test until she books one online. She points out that she can’t because the app won’t let her despite there being plenty of capacity. The people at the test centre apologise for this but say there is nothing they can do.

Boris = fat blithering idiot
Hancock = useless blithering idiot
Witty = grinch faced mong who needs horse whipping
Neil Ferguson = arrogant tosser who should suffer an agonising death

To think, this country once ruled the world :hehe:

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I can safely say this is the worst Tory government in my lifetime. ****s couldn't even run a bath.

Some facts for you WES

1. The nurse at the school is right, you do not need to have ALL of the symptoms. Just 1 is enough to trigger the rules of self isolation for him and the household (I hope you are all adhering to that now).

2) Mrs WES was very wrong to drive to the test centre and ask for a test without an appointment. It is very irresponsible to be aimlessly driving about with a potentially infected patient(s). Having had a test myself, I can tell you there is just no way that would happen, its all drvien by your QR code and you being in the system before you start.

3) There may be plenty of capacity at that centre but you are not factoring in the lab where they process the samples. They will have several test centres sending to them and have their own capacity limit. Very likely that this limit is hit and meaning appointments can't be released at the under capacity test centre.

4) From my experience, you have to just keep trying the gov website. As regularly as you can do, they release them in batches. I had success at 8.30 in the morning but I am told they are released continuosly at various points in the day.

5) I don't know how true this is but if you can only get a slot at a test centre 50 miles away, you can book that and then go to your local under capacity test centre and have them do it there. As I said, its driven by you being in the system to start with, once you are in you can "get away" with using a different test centre. I would guess this depends on the test centre, the person there and whether they take a shine to you or not.

Hope this helps!

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Originally Posted by Maravilloso Marvo

Some facts for you WES

1. The nurse at the school is right, you do not need to have ALL of the symptoms. Just 1 is enough to trigger the rules of self isolation for him and the household (I hope you are all adhering to that now).

2) Mrs WES was very wrong to drive to the test centre and ask for a test without an appointment. It is very irresponsible to be aimlessly driving about with a potentially infected patient(s). Having had a test myself, I can tell you there is just no way that would happen, its all drvien by your QR code and you being in the system before you start.

3) There may be plenty of capacity at that centre but you are not factoring in the lab where they process the samples. They will have several test centres sending to them and have their own capacity limit. Very likely that this limit is hit and meaning appointments can't be released at the under capacity test centre.

4) From my experience, you have to just keep trying the gov website. As regularly as you can do, they release them in batches. I had success at 8.30 in the morning but I am told they are released continuosly at various points in the day.

5) I don't know how true this is but if you can only get a slot at a test centre 50 miles away, you can book that and then go to your local under capacity test centre and have them do it there. As I said, its driven by you being in the system to start with, once you are in you can "get away" with using a different test centre. I would guess this depends on the test centre, the person there and whether they take a shine to you or not.

Hope this helps!

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Thanks Marv and hope all is well with you and yours.

1) He doesn’t have any of the symptoms, his ‘cough’ is just a sore throat, it is not chesty, it is not repetitive. He has not coughed once since returning home. The nurse was being overly cautious, probably because of the Covid hysteria being generated by misleading information from people like Witty and Valance who are more concerned with not being wrong than they are with providing accurate, constructive information to the general public. Mrs WES subsequently went through an NHS Q&A online check and he is considered to be ‘unlikely’ to have Covid.
2) Sorry, no idea what a QR code is but Mrs WES wanted a test as soon as possible as testing as quickly as possible is actually a really good thing for our society. The fact that she ended up at a centre with plenty of capacity but could not get one is a testimony not to her negligence but to the government’s incompetence.
3) That would explain a delay in a test being processed but should not result in a test not being conducted at all.
4) Many thanks we will keep trying :thumbup:
5) As above

Send him back to school tomorrow with a BLM scarf on.

They’re immune innit

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Originally Posted by WES

Thanks Marv and hope all is well with you and yours.

1) He doesn’t have any of the symptoms, his ‘cough’ is just a sore throat, it is not chesty, it is not repetitive. He has not coughed once since returning home. The nurse was being overly cautious, probably because of the Covid hysteria being generated by misleading information from people like Witty and Valance who are more concerned with not being wrong than they are with providing accurate, constructive information to the general public. Mrs WES subsequently went through an NHS Q&A online check and he is considered to be ‘unlikely’ to have Covid.
2) Sorry, no idea what a QR code is but Mrs WES wanted a test as soon as possible as testing as quickly as possible is actually a really good thing for our society. The fact that she ended up at a centre with plenty of capacity but could not get one is a testimony not to her negligence but to the government’s incompetence.
3) That would explain a delay in a test being processed but should not result in a test not being conducted at all.
4) Many thanks we will keep trying :thumbup:
5) As above

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1) Can just walk in and get one here from one of the many testing centres available - might have to (socially distance) queue but it's quick and easy
2) Did you see who was man of the match for Juve the other night. Looks like Pirlo might just get the best out of him - certainly doesn't seem keen to get rid of him as previously reported

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Originally Posted by Tony C

Send him back to school tomorrow with a BLM scarf on.

They’re immune innit

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:hehe: And he can vandalise stuff with no consequences. His boys will be well jel.

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Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda

1) Can just walk in and get one here from one of the many testing centres available - might have to (socially distance) queue but it's quick and easy
2) Did you see who was man of the match for Juve the other night. Looks like Pirlo might just get the best out of him - certainly doesn't seem keen to get rid of him as previously reported

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Bloody efficient Germans. How on earth did they lose LA? :cry:

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Originally Posted by barrybueno

Bloody efficient Germans. How on earth did they lose LA? :cry:

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They lost?

Seems to me that Fuhrerin Merkel is very much in charge of Grossdeutschland, from John O’ Groats to the Russian border.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

They lost?

Seems to me that Fuhrerin Merkel is very much in charge of Grossdeutschland, from John O’ Groats to the Russian border.

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Only right and proper

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Originally Posted by Sir C

They lost?

Seems to me that Fuhrerin Merkel is very much in charge of Grossdeutschland, from John O’ Groats to the Russian border.

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Yeah true. They've done it the smart and 'legal' way this time round. Or the 'Jewish Approach' as it's known.

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Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda

1) Can just walk in and get one here from one of the many testing centres available - might have to (socially distance) queue but it's quick and easy
2) Did you see who was man of the match for Juve the other night. Looks like Pirlo might just get the best out of him - certainly doesn't seem keen to get rid of him as previously reported

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1) he ended up getting one about a 30 minute drive away one day after we began trying. he was negative, of course, but that was hardly surprising given that he didn’t have any symptoms. this is what happens when the scientists and govt create Covid hysteria

2) substituted on 68 minutes yesterday I see :-)