The Shadow Home Secretary and putative holder of one of the great Offices of State

turned up to vote this morning wearing two left shoes.

Good luck, everyone. :-(

https://twitter.com/WireSpy3/status/1205080172707434496

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Originally Posted by Burney

turned up to vote this morning wearing two left shoes.

Good luck, everyone. :-(

https://twitter.com/WireSpy3/status/1205080172707434496

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We're ****ed if they get in

What if...he has two left feet.

Reptilians confirmed :yikes:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Burney

turned up to vote this morning wearing two left shoes.

Good luck, everyone. :-(

https://twitter.com/WireSpy3/status/1205080172707434496

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I could almost build a case to defend her were the shoes identical to one another. But they are also completely different designs :-(

Is this actually Dianne Abbot?

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Originally Posted by Rich

I could almost build a case to defend her were the shoes identical to one another. But they are also completely different designs :-(

Is this actually Dianne Abbot?

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It is. I'm increasingly convinced she has some sort of degenerative neurological disorder. There's being gaffe-prone and then there's being basically incapable of functioning as an adult human being.

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Originally Posted by Burney

It is. I'm increasingly convinced she has some sort of degenerative neurological disorder. There's being gaffe-prone and then there's being basically incapable of functioning as an adult human being.

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She shakes like Michael J f*cking Fox, too.

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Originally Posted by Monty92

She shakes like Michael J f*cking Fox, too.

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I prefer the simile 'like a shítting dog', m.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Burney

I prefer the simile 'like a shítting dog', m.

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A Hollywood icon struck down by Parkinson's at a relatively young age is inherently funny, though.

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Originally Posted by Burney

I prefer the simile 'like a shítting dog', m.

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It’s no ‘grinning like a ****ing jap’ though, is it?

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Originally Posted by Sir C

It’s no ‘grinning like a ****ing jap’ though, is it?

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No. That's because that is very possibly the greatest crude simile in history.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Monty92

A Hollywood icon struck down by Parkinson's at a relatively young age is inherently funny, though.

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I always felt a bit sorry for him, tbh. He was never going to have much of a career once he stopped being and looking young, but getting Parkinson's always struck me as a bit of a shítter for the lad.

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Originally Posted by Burney

No. That's because that is very possibly the greatest crude simile in history.

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Cold as a witch’s tit?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Monty92

A Hollywood icon struck down by Parkinson's at a relatively young age is inherently funny, though.

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If I hadn't been reading your unmitigated çuntholery for so long I'd be tempted to think you were playing for a laugh :-)

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Cold as a witch’s tit?

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I quite like 'Cold as a tart's kiss'; 'Wet as an otter's pocket' and the Australian classic 'Dry as a nun's nasty'

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Cold as a witch’s tit?

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Face like a bulldog lickin' píss off a nettle ... surely?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Burney

I quite like 'Cold as a tart's kiss'; 'Wet as an otter's pocket' and the Australian classic 'Dry as a nun's nasty'

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‘Dry as a nun’s ****’ if you grew up in London.

I always thought, ‘dry as Gandhi’s flip flop’ had a lot going for it as well.

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Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

Face like a bulldog lickin' píss off a nettle ... surely?

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‘As mean as a Jew’. Jeremy taught me that one.

Sir C "Cold as a witch’s tit?"

Flat as a witch's tit !

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Originally Posted by Sir C

‘As mean as a Jew’. Jeremy taught me that one.

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Face like a jew boy paying a bill .. he taught me that one.

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Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas

Sir C "Cold as a witch’s tit?"

Flat as a witch's tit !

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Aha! I wonder if I've misremembered or whether there are two versions out there.

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Aha! I wonder if I've misremembered or whether there are two versions out there.

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Cold where I'm from

There would appear to be two of them...witch is appropriate

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Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

Cold where I'm from

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Two versions then.

I rather like 'flat', actually. I may amend mu usage.

What else do we have for 'cold'? 'As a polar bear's arse', I suppose. Must be something better.

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Originally Posted by Monty92

A Hollywood icon struck down by Parkinson's at a relatively young age is inherently funny, though.

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Oh Monty how could you? :-( Not like he was ever an asshole like some of them... Star of quite easily the greatest ever eighties film :bow:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Two versions then.

I rather like 'flat', actually. I may amend mu usage.

What else do we have for 'cold'? 'As a polar bear's arse', I suppose. Must be something better.

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Cold enough to freeze the bollox off a brass monkey - not a simile I know - and long ago was contracted simply to "brass monkey weather"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir C

Two versions then.

I rather like 'flat', actually. I may amend mu usage.

What else do we have for 'cold'? 'As a polar bear's arse', I suppose. Must be something better.

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I like the 'It's a bit Pearl Harbor out there'

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Originally Posted by barrybueno

I like the 'It's a bit Pearl Harbor out there'

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Nice one b, nice one.

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Originally Posted by Burney

I prefer the simile 'like a shítting dog', m.

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Another canine won...

"Like a dog eating hot chips"