If you had to choose, which of these ladies would you decide to marry

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10-02-2019, 01:13 PM
Sir C

If you had to choose, which of these ladies would you decide to marry

and spend the rest of your life with?

1. Human Foghorn Jess Phillips
2. Indefatigable turmagent and old soak Anna Soubry
3. Fatso Diane Abbott

Please show your workings.
10-02-2019, 01:17 PM
Pokster

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

and spend the rest of your life with?

1. Human Foghorn Jess Phillips
2. Indefatigable turmagent and old soak Anna Soubry
3. Fatso Diane Abbott

Please show your workings.

Which is likely to die first?
10-02-2019, 01:18 PM
IUFG

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

and spend the rest of your life with?

1. Human Foghorn Jess Phillips
2. Indefatigable turmagent and old soak Anna Soubry
3. Fatso Diane Abbott

Please show your workings.

is this an ipsative choice?

If not, suicide or benderness...
10-02-2019, 01:20 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pokster

Which is likely to die first?

Abbott's carrying about 16 stone of pure lard so her heart must be under some stress... on the other hand, Soubry's liver doesn't bear thinking about. Phillips is too sour to ever die, she'll go on being horrible about everything for all eternity.
10-02-2019, 01:21 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by IUFG

is this an ipsative choice?

If not, suicide or benderness...

Mysoginist.
10-02-2019, 01:26 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

and spend the rest of your life with?

1. Human Foghorn Jess Phillips
2. Indefatigable turmagent and old soak Anna Soubry
3. Fatso Diane Abbott

Please show your workings.

Hmmm. I couldn't go near Phillips due to the smell. Abbott's a no-no since if that's she looks like scrubbed up, imagine the state of it first thing in the morning.

It'd have to be Soubry. I'd obviously devote my existence to making her live an utter misery and sexually degrading her, but such sacrifices must me made, I'm afraid. :shrug:
10-02-2019, 01:27 PM
IUFG

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Abbott's carrying about 16 stone of pure lard so her heart must be under some stress... on the other hand, Soubry's liver doesn't bear thinking about. Phillips is too sour to ever die, she'll go on being horrible about everything for all eternity.

But could you imagine going where Jezza has been? :puke:
10-02-2019, 01:27 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Mysoginist.

Surely a Misogynist is someone who harbours an irrational hatred of fermented soy bean paste?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
10-02-2019, 01:28 PM
Viva Prat Vegas

It's like a nightmare edition of Blind Date

Number 1's a Brummie so she's out
Number 2 would drive me to drink which would be a fat lot of use if she's already been at the drinks cabinet
Number 3 IS a fat lot of use who'd forever be using my razor to deal with her 5 O'Clock shadow so I'd have to grow a beard
10-02-2019, 01:29 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

Hmmm. I couldn't go near Phillips due to the smell. Abbott's a no-no since if that's she looks like scrubbed up, imagine the state of it first thing in the morning.

It'd have to be Soubry. I'd obviously devote my existence to making her live an utter misery and sexually degrading her, but such sacrifices must me made, I'm afraid. :shrug:

Imagine waking each morning to that screeching, opening your eyes and seeing her sour face an inch from yours, her gin-scented spittle flecking your face as she abuses you for whatever imagined slight her twisted sense of victimhood has conjured overnight.

:-(
10-02-2019, 01:30 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

Surely a Misogynist is someone who harbours an irrational hatred of fermented soy bean paste?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Funnily enough, I realised as I typed it that I'd got my y and my i confused, but literally couldn't be arsed to correct it.

Standards are definitely dropping. Must be Brexit.
10-02-2019, 01:30 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir C

Imagine waking each morning to that screeching, opening your eyes and seeing her sour face an inch from yours, her gin-scented spittle flecking your face as she abuses you for whatever imagined slight her twisted sense of victimhood has conjured overnight.

:-(

A ball-gag and a swift bout of rough, unlubricated anal would soften her cough pretty swiftly imo.
10-02-2019, 01:31 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas

It's like a nightmare edition of Blind Date

Number 1's a Brummie so she's out
Number 2 would drive me to drink which would be a fat lot of use if she's already been at the drinks cabinet
Number 3 IS a fat lot of use who'd forever be using my razor to deal with her 5 O'Clock shadow so I'd have to grow a beard

Abbott would force you to smell her farts. :-(
10-02-2019, 01:32 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

A ball-gag and a swift bout of rough, unlubricated anal would soften her cough pretty swiftly imo.

You could try to gag her balls but she'd still get hard enough to give your sphincter a good pounding.
10-02-2019, 01:33 PM
Sir C

Quote:

Originally Posted by IUFG

But could you imagine going where Jezza has been? :puke:

That was in the 1980s, wasn't it? You don't think she's still full of his Commie manmuck, do you? :-(
10-02-2019, 01:34 PM
Monty92

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burney

Hmmm. I couldn't go near Phillips due to the smell. Abbott's a no-no since if that's she looks like scrubbed up, imagine the state of it first thing in the morning.

It'd have to be Soubry. I'd obviously devote my existence to making her live an utter misery and sexually degrading her, but such sacrifices must me made, I'm afraid. :shrug:

Abbott actually had quite a pretty face when she was younger.
10-02-2019, 01:36 PM
Burney

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monty92

Abbott actually had quite a pretty face when she was younger.

Well you could try and console yourself with that thought, I suppose. :shrug:
10-02-2019, 01:38 PM
Viva Prat Vegas

She does have a slightly sexy laugh too
10-02-2019, 01:57 PM
IUFG

Quote:

Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas

She does have a slightly sexy laugh too

this thread has taken quite the turn :puke:
10-02-2019, 02:03 PM
Viva Prat Vegas

Hopefully you're reading this thread from the bottom up, IUFG
If so, please proceed no further

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