So, I've had my cardiovascular risk assessment.

My chances of having a heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years are a whopping... 4.1%!

Have that, suckers. My new regime has given me a life expectancy of forever. :cloud9:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

My chances of having a heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years are a whopping... 4.1%!

Have that, suckers. My new regime has given me a life expectancy of forever. :cloud9:

---

What about cancer?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Burney

What about cancer?

---

That's not included in the cardiovascular risk assessment. However, since I no longer smoke, I believe my chances of catching the cancer are one in a million.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

That's not included in the cardiovascular risk assessment. However, since I no longer smoke, I believe my chances of catching the cancer are one in a million.

---

:hehe: It's true. The cankers run away in terror the minute one stops smoking. The previous 40-odd years of self abuse are simply e
wiped clean the minute one stops.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Burney

:hehe: It's true. The cankers run away in terror the minute one stops smoking. The previous 40-odd years of self abuse are simply e
wiped clean the minute one stops.

---

Yes, that's what I thought. I'm also pretty certain that my heart remains unaffected by 30 years of cocaine abuse.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

Yes, that's what I thought. I'm also pretty certain that my heart remains unaffected by 30 years of cocaine abuse.

---

I don't think you ever 'abused' it, did you? You always seemed to treat it rather well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

My chances of having a heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years are a whopping... 4.1%!

Have that, suckers. My new regime has given me a life expectancy of forever. :cloud9:

---

I would say that result is wrong.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

My chances of having a heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years are a whopping... 4.1%!

Have that, suckers. My new regime has given me a life expectancy of forever. :cloud9:

---

throw me in the skip :-(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SWv2

I would say that result is wrong.

---

Who was that chap on here who rather brought the mood down by telling us he was going to have a fatal clutcher at any minute?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

throw me in the skip :-(

---

The answer lies within you, h. You can choose to live clean.

Dismalswamp ?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sir C

The answer lies within you, h. You can choose to live clean.

---

It just 'feels' like my old strawberry is about to pop c. Perhaps it is just this sad sad life has left it broken :cry:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Viva Prat Vegas

Dismalswamp ?

---

No. Egg and dart, I think his name was. He was a bit of a Wengeraht merchant, as I recall, but even so I felt a bit sorry for the chap. Must be dreadful walking around waiting for your fatal event. I think I'd almost prefer a terminal cancer diagnosis to that sort of torture.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

It just 'feels' like my old strawberry is about to pop c. Perhaps it is just this sad sad life has left it broken :cry:

---

It's Nigella's weight loss that's done it to you, isn't it, h? :-(

I'm sure there are more hefty, raven-haired, late middle-aged jewish mothers out there for you.

I even wrote her an opus b :cry:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman

I even wrote her an opus b :cry:

---

Yes. I remember. It was very...ummm...'graphic'.