Well my Christmas Day is promising to be thoroughly ****. Me, the missus, the sprogs,

the missus’s grandfather who has early on-set dementia, lost his wife 4 months ago and was the world’s most boorish, self-important **** even when he was compos mentis.

And now throw into the mix my mother-in-law who is in the throws of her latest episode of psychotic paranoia and is currently accusing her daughter (my missus) of - among even more outlandish claims - breaking into her house and stealing jewellery.

All of us holed up in a rickety old farm house that hasn't been properly cleaned for about 20 years, eating supermarket food and pretending everything is normal.

:-(

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Originally Posted by Monty92

the missus’s grandfather who has early on-set dementia, lost his wife 4 months ago and was the world’s most boorish, self-important **** even when he was compos mentis.

And now throw into the mix my mother-in-law who is in the throws of her latest episode of psychotic paranoia and is currently accusing her daughter (my missus) of - among even more outlandish claims - breaking into her house and stealing jewellery.

All of us holed up in a rickety old farm house that hasn't been properly cleaned for about 20 years, eating supermarket food and pretending everything is normal.

:-(

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I think you should plead the Jewishness and say you can't attend for religious reasons.

If it's any consolation, my Christmas also involves a remote farmhouse and loads of inter-family turmoil. Whoop-de-fücking-doo. :-(

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Originally Posted by Burney

I think you should plead the Jewishness and say you can't attend for religious reasons.

If it's any consolation, my Christmas also involves a remote farmhouse and loads of inter-family turmoil. Whoop-de-fücking-doo. :-(

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It's f*cking jokes man. Literally the binary opposite of how I imagined Christmases being when I had kids, Jeff :-(

Who hates each other in your family?

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Originally Posted by Burney

I think you should plead the Jewishness and say you can't attend for religious reasons.

If it's any consolation, my Christmas also involves a remote farmhouse and loads of inter-family turmoil. Whoop-de-fücking-doo. :-(

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What's this farmhouse stuff. Are you Great Train Robbers?

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Originally Posted by Monty92

It's f*cking jokes man. Literally the binary opposite of how I imagined Christmases being when I had kids, Jeff :-(

Who hates each other in your family?

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Nobody hates each other. Just my sister (whose farmhouse it is has) three teenage daughters who are at daggers drawn with her at the moment. Their dad died a few years ago and the place reminds us all of him, which will be awkward - particularly as my sis is now shacked up with his best man (who will also be there). Add to this the fact that my wife and I will be there with my daughter and will be joined (albeit briefly) by my ex on Boxing Day and it doesn't promise to be exactly restful.

Ho-hum.

Concentrate on keeping the wife happy and just ignore every other ****.

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Originally Posted by Monty92

the missus’s grandfather who has early on-set dementia, lost his wife 4 months ago and was the world’s most boorish, self-important **** even when he was compos mentis.

And now throw into the mix my mother-in-law who is in the throws of her latest episode of psychotic paranoia and is currently accusing her daughter (my missus) of - among even more outlandish claims - breaking into her house and stealing jewellery.

All of us holed up in a rickety old farm house that hasn't been properly cleaned for about 20 years, eating supermarket food and pretending everything is normal.

:-(

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Originally Posted by Burney

Nobody hates each other. Just my sister (whose farmhouse it is has) three teenage daughters who are at daggers drawn with her at the moment. Their dad died a few years ago and the place reminds us all of him, which will be awkward - particularly as my sis is now shacked up with his best man (who will also be there). Add to this the fact that my wife and I will be there with my daughter and will be joined (albeit briefly) by my ex on Boxing Day and it doesn't promise to be exactly restful.

Ho-hum.

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Sometimes living in a different country to family is very nice indeed

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Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda

Sometimes living in a different country to family is very nice indeed

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I can certainly see the attraction, yes. :-\

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Originally Posted by Monty92

the missus’s grandfather who has early on-set dementia, lost his wife 4 months ago and was the world’s most boorish, self-important **** even when he was compos mentis.

And now throw into the mix my mother-in-law who is in the throws of her latest episode of psychotic paranoia and is currently accusing her daughter (my missus) of - among even more outlandish claims - breaking into her house and stealing jewellery.

All of us holed up in a rickety old farm house that hasn't been properly cleaned for about 20 years, eating supermarket food and pretending everything is normal.

:-(

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Don't you think your wife needs to permanently bin her mum?

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Originally Posted by Pat Vegas

What's this farmhouse stuff. Are you Great Train Robbers?

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:hehe: that's tickled me

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Originally Posted by Monty92

eating supermarket food

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Oh noes! Food from supermarkets like what the ordinary, untermensches eat!

If it's possible to die of extreme snobbery you should watch out.

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Originally Posted by Ash

Oh noes! Food from supermarkets like what the ordinary, untermensches eat!

If it's possible to die of extreme snobbery you should watch out.

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Surely it's not snobbish to think that cooking is part of the fun and pleasure of Christmas?

Or are you denying a home-cooked Christmas meal is nicer in every possible way?

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Originally Posted by Monty92

Surely it's not snobbish to think that cooking is part of the fun and pleasure of Christmas?

Or are you denying a home-cooked Christmas meal is nicer in every possible way?

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I think a thought you were complaining that the ingredients had been bought from a supermarket rather than your local organic artisan butcher/baker/candlestick maker

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Originally Posted by Monty92

Surely it's not snobbish to think that cooking is part of the fun and pleasure of Christmas?

Or are you denying a home-cooked Christmas meal is nicer in every possible way?

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The cooking is certainly fun when other people do it imo. But some of the food that is cooked comes from the supermarket, no? Rather than from the East Finchley Organic Ethically Produced Sustainable Farmers Collective or wherever your sort gets its grub from.

..............

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Originally Posted by Burney

I think a thought you were complaining that the ingredients had been bought from a supermarket rather than your local organic artisan butcher/baker/candlestick maker

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Oh, yes, that would be fair, then.

Although I *would* be upset to get my ingredients from one of the less posh supermarkets. Luckily my dad works in M&S so I get a 20% discount :cloud9:

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Originally Posted by Ash

The cooking is certainly fun when other people do it imo. But some of the food that is cooked comes from the supermarket, no? Rather than from the East Finchley Organic Ethically Produced Sustainable Farmers Collective or wherever your sort gets its grub from.

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Yes, I'm definitely the type to care about how ethically sourced and sustainable my food is, you've nailed me there :hehe:

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Originally Posted by Ash

The cooking is certainly fun when other people do it imo. But some of the food that is cooked comes from the supermarket, no? Rather than from the East Finchley Organic Ethically Produced Sustainable Farmers Collective or wherever your sort gets its grub from.

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'Your sort' :hehe:

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Originally Posted by Monty92

Oh, yes, that would be fair, then.

Although I *would* be upset to get my ingredients from one of the less posh supermarkets. Luckily my dad works in M&S so I get a 20% discount :cloud9:

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I shop around, generally. Meat from the local butcher, bits and bobs from Waitrose (the Heston Blumenthal mince pies they did last year were mind-blowingly good), but I always load up on cheap frozen Lidl lobsters and make mini thermidor nibbles.

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Originally Posted by Monty92

Oh, yes, that would be fair, then.

Although I *would* be upset to get my ingredients from one of the less posh supermarkets. Luckily my dad works in M&S so I get a 20% discount :cloud9:

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:cloud9: Can stock up in M&S on Thursday. Possibly the thing I miss most about England *


*people and the Arsenal excluded **

** I'm not that sure about the people tbh

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Originally Posted by Brentwood

:hehe: that's tickled me

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hehe hehe right