That video of Chelsea fans on the train - looked to me like that they were just stopping

Would you care to define 'joke'?

You've not had much to do with the Mettards, have you?

The nose comes with me everywhere.

Yes, Paris is notoriously inhospitable to outsiders. I'm sure someone cleverer than me has an explanation as to why.

I knew some Headhunters back in the day. Not nice chaps.

I was playing myself up, you see.

Like us, they're usually in a hurry and stressed, but they're no mor impolite than Londoners. In fact, given that the French invariably have far better manners than the British, they're probably politer.

You should try doing it as someone who only did a year of french, and in one of the worst schools in London, at that.

There are no words, not in the English language anyway, to describe how preferable Spanish is.