Yes, if you're sticking your dick in other men's arseholes, and then coming home and occasionally sticking it in your wife's noo-noo, there is surely an obligation, on basic hygiene grounds if nothing else, to let her know.
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Without wishing to be indelicate, I assume that neither you nor your good lady partner was a virgin when you met? So both of you are happy to engage with the other's genitals in the knowledge that they are not exactly 'box fresh', as it were? So what's the difference?