What would you think of someone who went to 5 Guys, ordered a bacon cheeseburger

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Originally Posted by Burney

For. Fvck's. Sake. :-( :-( :-(

What sort of deviant animal would do that?

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It's a Yankee thing, seen it a few times on Diners, Drive ins and Dives.

When in doubt deep fry the ****er.

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Originally Posted by Peter

Right. I am about to get called weird again.....

I would tidy the thing up before I start. If it is dripping with sauce and uneven lumps of salad items then some of this is going to have to go, I'm afraid. The thing needs to hold together otherwise you are left with a sodden mess.

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The most important thing with a big burger is not to put it down at any point. If you do, the thing will fall apart and you'll be eating scraps of gooey sh1te. You can't eat anything else at the same time.

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Originally Posted by Peter

Right. I am about to get called weird again.....

I would tidy the thing up before I start. If it is dripping with sauce and uneven lumps of salad items then some of this is going to have to go, I'm afraid. The thing needs to hold together otherwise you are left with a sodden mess.

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I'm with you there, p. It's the issue I have with chilli burgers, a combination of 2 of my favourite things but it's just impossible to eat as a burger.

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Originally Posted by Peter

You can get plenty of different pizzas through deliveroo. Pizza Express is available for delivery, also Ask, Zizzi.

Dominos really isnt that bad though. I can eat it :)

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My daughters and I love Dominos.........

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Originally Posted by SWv2

It's a Yankee thing, seen it a few times on Diners, Drive ins and Dives.

When in doubt deep fry the ****er.

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Yes, well it was a rhetorical question, really. Obviously, it would be the Yanqui who do this. Sometimes I feel the world might be improved if they shot a few more of each other.

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Originally Posted by Burney

The most important thing with a big burger is not to put it down at any point. If you do, the thing will fall apart and you'll be eating scraps of gooey sh1te. You can't eat anything else at the same time.

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100% agreed. It is basically a race against time before it falls apart. Once you pick it up you accept the clock is ticking. Putting it down is effectively chucking it in the bin.

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Originally Posted by PSRB

I'm with you there, p. It's the issue I have with chilli burgers, a combination of 2 of my favourite things but it's just impossible to eat as a burger.

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You cant have too much slop in there and you shouldn't need it. It only dilutes the flavour of the meat, which is supposed to be the point. Likewise, things like cucumber and tomato need to be positioned in reasonable and consistent sizes. You cannot afford lumpsand undulations above or beneath the layer of meat. This inevitably causes structural disintegration at an early stage.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

They give you a pizza cutter and from there surely it is all by hand unless you are ordering pasta at which point you should be asked to leave.

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I have never been offered a pizza cutter in Pizza Express, ever.

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Originally Posted by Peter

100% agreed. It is basically a race against time before it falls apart. Once you pick it up you accept the clock is ticking. Putting it down is effectively chucking it in the bin.

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:nod: Only amateurs (and women) put the burger down halfway through eating it.

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Originally Posted by PSRB

My daughters and I love Dominos.........

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It gets a bad press. I know people who wont touch it but love Pizza Hut....that doesnt make any sense to me at all.

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Originally Posted by Peter

You cant have too much slop in there and you shouldn't need it. It only dilutes the flavour of the meat, which is supposed to be the point. Likewise, things like cucumber and tomato need to be positioned in reasonable and consistent sizes. You cannot afford lumpsand undulations above or beneath the layer of meat. This inevitably causes structural disintegration at an early stage.

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The problem is that the more succulent the burger, the more likely it is to disintegrate, as the juices from the meat inevitably seep into the bun and render it structurally unsound.

Also, brioche buns can fvck off.

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Originally Posted by Burney

:nod: Only amateurs (and women) put the burger down halfway through eating it.

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Exactly. Have a few chips first, inspect the rest of the plate. Prepare the burger for holding and then commence once you acknowledge you are ready to go all in. Finish the remaining chips at the end. This can also help to mop up any sauce that may have scraped from the burger during consumption.

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Originally Posted by Burney

For. Fvck's. Sake. :-( :-( :-(

What sort of deviant animal would do that?

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An American. Deep-fat fried pickles is a popular delicacy in places like Arkansas and Mississippi. Delicious

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...es_closeup.jpg

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Originally Posted by PSRB

I have never been offered a pizza cutter in Pizza Express, ever.

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Perhaps I am thinking of another chain, here it is called Milano for whatever reason. There is one on Upper Street just up from Byron, more or less opposite the Hilton.

Probably don't give them out in London as they would be nicked and used as a weapon in a street mugging.

Here in Ireland they give them out with each meal.

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Originally Posted by Burney

The problem is that the more succulent the burger, the more likely it is to disintegrate, as the juices from the meat inevitably seep into the bun and render it structurally unsound.

Also, brioche buns can fvck off.

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THie can create an issue with buns. A dry bun will stand a good soaking whereas a lighter, fluffy one will fold by the second bite, once the overall structure has been compromised.

Trouble is, you then end up with a dry bun :(

Its tricky.

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Originally Posted by SWv2

It's a Yankee thing, seen it a few times on Diners, Drive ins and Dives.

When in doubt deep fry the ****er.

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Not "Yankee"; more "Cracker".

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Originally Posted by Peter

It gets a bad press. I know people who wont touch it but love Pizza Hut....that doesnt make any sense to me at all.

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Ours only does eat in and not delivery......and I'm not eating in a Pizza Hut

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Originally Posted by SWv2

Perhaps I am thinking of another chain, here it is called Milano for whatever reason. There is one on Upper Street just up from Byron, more or less opposite the Hilton.

Probably don't give them out in London as they would be nicked and used as a weapon in a street mugging.

Here in Ireland they give them out with each meal.

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Essentially, if it's been pre-cut or I'm offered a cutter I would eat by hand, if not, then knife and fork

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Originally Posted by PSRB

Ours only does eat in and not delivery......and I'm not eating in a Pizza Hut

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100% agree there. I wouldnt even go in and collect it. The one in Colchester is on a retail estate, right in the middle of the car park. They pump out horrific pop music all day.

I am not a snob when it comes to food but I draw the line at going in there.

and anyway, Dominos is better.

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Originally Posted by Peter

Exactly. Have a few chips first, inspect the rest of the plate. Prepare the burger for holding and then commence once you acknowledge you are ready to go all in. Finish the remaining chips at the end. This can also help to mop up any sauce that may have scraped from the burger during consumption.

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You also have to accept that it's not going to be pretty. You need napkins to hand.

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Originally Posted by redgunamo

An American. Deep-fat fried pickles is a popular delicacy in places like Arkansas and Mississippi. Delicious

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...es_closeup.jpg

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Take those revolting things out of my face afore I strike ye!

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Originally Posted by World's End Stella

and then ate it with a knife and fork?

I saw exactly this in Guildford the other day. Middle aged English woman sitting with her husband and two children who - quite rightly - were eating their burgers with their hands.

Bizarre. Almost as bad as people who eat pizza with a knife and fork imo.

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It's a very German thing to do

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Originally Posted by Burney

You also have to accept that it's not going to be pretty. You need napkins to hand.

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This is why some women go for the knife and fork option.

A shish kebab is also a problem here. THe big lumps of meat make it difficult as hand food and if it is lamb, the chewiness can destroy the whole set up. I am 50-50 on this. I often go with cutlery.

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Originally Posted by World's End Stella

What would you think of someone who went to 5 Guys, ordered a bacon cheeseburger and then ate it with a knife and fork?

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I would mind my own business and get on with my life free from the burden of judgemental indignation and outrage.

Maybe they had a bit of a toothache and couldn't bite comfortably.

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Originally Posted by Ash

I would mind my own business and get on with my life free from the burden of judgemental indignation and outrage.

Maybe they had a bit of a toothache and couldn't bite comfortably.

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Cutlery nazi-ism aside I am just unsure how a person could even do it in said food emporium.

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Originally Posted by Peter

Exactly. Have a few chips first, inspect the rest of the plate. Prepare the burger for holding and then commence once you acknowledge you are ready to go all in. Finish the remaining chips at the end. This can also help to mop up any sauce that may have scraped from the burger during consumption.

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Quite the other way around, I'm afraid. And let's be honest, a Brit lecturing an American or a Canadian on how to eat a burger is pretty rich. :hehe:

The answer is to put it down upside down as you progress through the burger. The top half of the bun is always larger and more likely to hold its shape as it hasn't had the juice and the condiments dripping into it. This way one can take his time with it.

You Brits really are burger amateurs. :hehe:

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Originally Posted by World's End Stella

Quite the other way around, I'm afraid. And let's be honest, a Brit lecturing an American or a Canadian on how to eat a burger is pretty rich. :hehe:

The answer is to put it down upside down as you progress through the burger. The top half of the bun is always larger and more likely to hold its shape as it hasn't had the juice and the condiments dripping into it. This way one can take his time with it.

You Brits really are burger amateurs. :hehe:

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So using your comment above, a Canadian or Yank lecturing us about Football is pretty rich?

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Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda

It's a very German thing to do

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Case closed then, innit?

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Originally Posted by World's End Stella

Quite the other way around, I'm afraid. And let's be honest, a Brit lecturing an American or a Canadian on how to eat a burger is pretty rich. :hehe:

The answer is to put it down upside down as you progress through the burger. The top half of the bun is always larger and more likely to hold its shape as it hasn't had the juice and the condiments dripping into it. This way one can take his time with it.

You Brits really are burger amateurs. :hehe:

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Yes, I am not sure the ability to eat a burger would be too high up on Britain's list of cultural accomplishments in any case. But then I suppose if you are Canadian you grab what you can.

You did produce Leonard Cohen, so you are alright by me. Of course, he had to go to NEw York to become Leonard Cohen but nevertheless......

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Originally Posted by World's End Stella

Case closed then, innit?

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Oh, so we are going to start kraut-bashing are we?

Our european partners....

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Originally Posted by Peter

Oh, so we are going to start kraut-bashing are we?

Our european partners....

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Seriously, you and Burney should take this opportunity to learn something.

Eat burger. Place upside down and arrange as required, Eat more burger. etc.

There's a valuable lesson for you both here.